JONAS CAIN

Reflections Of My Father

7/17/2014

Comments

 
Picture
One day, while I was still in high school, my dad cut off his beard. He had always had a long beard, but all of a sudden I could see his face. He picked me up from school that day and I told him he looked ridiculous. That wasn't the response he was looking for. I felt bad because I think it may have hurt his feelings, and except for the time I was playing with my Sesame Street toys on the floor by the bathroom in the trailer when I was four or five or so, I don't think I had ever hurt his feelings before. You see, I wanted to play with my big brother Justin, but Justin didn't want to play, so my dad sat down to play with me. But I said no. I wanted Justin. He quickly yelled 'fine' and got up and left. I felt bad because I had made him sad. Looking back now He probably wasn't upset that I didn't want to play with him, but rather that I wouldn't stop complaining and I was getting on his nerves. At least that's how I would feel if a kid was being a complainer. I don't blame him, of course. Who has time for complainers? My dad was one of my biggest supporters growing up.

If I wanted to do something, he made it happen. If I needed to go somewhere, he would go with me and stay with me along the way. We'd spend every Saturday at that magic store from open to close. If I needed something made, he would make it with me. And even though I hated tinkering, fixing and making things, I would do it joyfully because I got to do it with him.

As far as personality, He and I were worlds apart from each other, yet as different as we were, we were still just the same. He never talked to me about it, but I think it bothered him when I changed my name from Toutant to Cain. I didn't do it because of anything he or my family did. It was just something I had to do, because of what life did to me. Something I had to do to be right with myself. Toutant blood runs through my veins, though, and I remember that always. I never got to explain it properly to him.

But he understands now. He understands everything now. I don't miss him, because now he is with us always. I don't cry that he's gone. I cry that he lived. A life so full. So full. So full of life, so full of Love. So full of care. So full of whatever the Heaven he wanted. He didn't come to this life to be anything other than himself. And he was comfortable with who he was. Of all the things he taught me, it was to be myself, and to be happy with who that was. To accept nothing less. As different as we are, we're still the same. Oh so the same. And I am so glad that I got to have him as my dad.

​
Comments
    Articles
    Picture

    Author

    I'm a mirror (and so are you).

    Picture

    Topics

    All
    Ally
    Anticipation
    April Fools Day
    Atonement
    Bicycle Ride
    Books
    Care
    Change
    Character
    Christmas
    Climb For Hope
    Commitment
    Communication
    Compassion
    Confidence
    Connection
    Dad
    Encourage
    Engage
    Enjoy
    Fascination
    Forgiveness
    Grand Canyon
    Grand Canyon 2018
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Happiness
    Health
    Hope
    Humility
    Initiative
    Inspiration
    Jokes
    Kindness
    Legacy
    Let Go
    Life
    Listen
    Love
    Mentor
    Mindset
    Miracles
    Mission
    Mount Adams 2019
    Mr. Scoots
    Mt. Adams
    Non Doing
    Patience
    Positivity
    Presence
    Prove
    Resilience
    Respect
    Selfishness
    Success
    Suicide
    The Amazing Johnathan
    Trust
    Vision
    Wisdom

    Picture

    Archives

    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    July 2020
    December 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    August 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    June 2016
    February 2016
    July 2014
    August 2013
    July 2013
    December 2012
    November 2011
    August 2011
    March 2011
    November 2010
    October 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    February 2010
    November 2009
    October 2009

    RSS Feed

Picture
©2023