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It should have been so simple—no more than a few seconds and it would be done.
And yet it wasn’t that simple. And she was getting frustrated. All she wanted to do was get copies made, but she couldn’t get the copy machine working. And she tried everything: She tried hitting the machine. She tried unplugging it and plugging it back in. She even tried begging and pleading. But nothing worked! Thankfully, a man walking by in the hallway saw her in distress and stepped in to help. And Voilà! It worked! A happy ending after all. I share this seemingly mundane story because of how the woman responded to the man who stepped in to help. Think about how you’ve seen others respond to frustrating circumstances. Maybe they spewed complaints. Maybe they were insulted by the gesture because they felt they should have been able to do it on their own. Or maybe they simply ignored the helper out of frustrated exasperation. We’ve seen all of these kinds of responses at some point, but this woman did none of these. Instead, she simply looked at the man and said: “I’m so happy you’re here.” Simple words. Kind words. Words that cost nothing to give, but when received have the power to encourage others. Everyone who walks into your life has a story you know nothing about, and that was certainly the case for the man who shared this story with me. Years earlier he had gone through a period of depression and decided the world would be better if he wasn’t around—so he made his plan and set it into action: He would take care of some unfinished business at the office and then after work he would take his own life. But when the big day arrived, as he was leaving the office, he passed by a woman in the hallway struggling with the copy machine. She was banging it, turning it off and on, and begging and pleading for it to work. Sure, he was in a hurry to get to his appointment with death, but he took a moment to step in to help, and when he did, instead of adding to the negativity that was already eating the man alive, the woman simply smiled and said: “I’m so happy you’re here.” Simple words. Kind words. Words that cost nothing to give, but when received have the power to encourage others. Everyone who walks into your life has a story you know nothing about, which is why—as the author J.M. Barrie reminds us—we must “be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” At the very least, kindness can inspire a smile; at the very most, it can save a life. And that was certainly the case for the man who shared this story with me. Reflection How might you share more kindness with the people around you? Every step was more exhausting than the next, but we had to keep moving forward if we were ever going to make it.
The journey was taking longer than expected and the higher the sun rose, the more the snow melted, making the trek up Mt. Adams more dangerous. With every step the ground collapsed beneath us and we'd be up to our waist in snow! Before taking another step, we'd have to dig our way out and crawl to our feet, just to do it all over again. We fell forward up the mountain like this for two hours, and with every step I wondered where I was going to find the energy to continue. At one point, after crawling out of a hole, I paused to turn around and observe the progress we had made. What I saw transformed my heart to become like the snow around us—melted, as it basked in the glory of the surroundings. We were literally standing above the clouds! A view reserved only for those willing and able to endure the ordeal of an adventure! In that moment I recognized the privilege to be there, to soak in the glory of the surroundings, and to enjoy every moment of the journey—difficulties and all. When you can enjoy the process of your journey rather than merely delaying joy until the final outcome, you empower yourself with enhanced interest and sustained effort—a self-fulfilling prophecy to help you achieve your desired results. Application How might you apply this in your life? Here are a few examples:
These are just a few quick examples to stoke your thinking. Whoever you are and whatever your adventure, I encourage you to discover your own ways to enjoy the journey ahead. Reflection How can you find more joy in the process of your own glorious adventure? “Be careful, the wind is passing you!”
I looked to see who it was that threw these words at me as I jogged through the Salem Common. It was a young physically fit man sitting on a park bench. It felt like a reply was necessary, but none was forthcoming so I just kept jogging. But my mind was reeling. What would compel someone to throw discouragement towards another person? Was he trying to be funny? Did he feel threatened by seeing someone trying to improve their life? Was he scorned by a jogger in his past so he has dedicated his life to tearing all joggers down? Or was he just being careless with his words? L'esprit d'escalier is a French term that literally means “staircase wit.” It refers to those missed opportunities where you think of the perfect reply to someone’s comment too late. Even though this happened too many years ago to count, I still think of that man’s comment more often than I would like—usually while jogging. And, oh my goodness, I’ve certainly come up with many responses with my l'esprit d'escalier. I have come to a conclusion, though, that truly no response was necessary, because the goal of communication is not merely to express ideas or win people over to your way of thinking, but rather it’s about creating a common understanding that includes rather than excludes and unites rather than divides (as derived from archaic words meaning to create a common understanding). And carelessly throwing discouragement to another person will never be a constructive path to genuine communication. Ultimately, I still don’t know what this man was trying to communicate—a valuable reminder that in communication it’s seldom about intention and more about how it lands with the other person. Even though his intention didn’t quite come in for a safe landing, I still learned a valuable lesson from him: It is prudent to always be careful of what our words and behaviors are communicating, lest we unwittingly exclude and divide rather than include and unite. Reflection What are your words and behaviors communicating to the people around you? Are they intentional or are they careless? |
AuthorI'm a mirror (and so are you). 
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