How to Know Your Care

It was the perfect plan.

First, I would sneak out of the house when my parents fell asleep.

Then I would walk the two miles to the elementary school.

Finally, I would break into my third grade classroom and steal the teacher’s lesson plans.
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It was the perfect plan.

I was willing to try anything to get out of speaking in front of the classroom to present my project. I had already seen Craig literally collapse in front of the whole class while delivering his project, and I wasn’t about to let the same thing happen to me!

Alas, I never went through with that plan—however perfect it may have been. 

Funny thing is, while I can still remember the profound grief leading up to it, I have no recollection of actually delivering the presentation. I was a good kid and always did what I was told—so I’m sure I did do it—I just don’t remember it.

This story can serve as a valuable reminder that the profound anxiety, grief, or anger that can sometimes creep into our lives is mostly related to the fears we’re giving our attention to, rather than the actual full reality of our circumstances.

And these emotions can also be used to highlight what we really care about. In my case, I cared about being accepted and maintaining good relations. If I made a fool of myself in front of everyone it could threaten that!

When we sincerely care about something, we become empowered with a heightened level of emotional interest, and the trick is to let that emotion fuel our passion rather than deplete it.

As for me, just remembering this story can put my mind at ease, because it reminds me that all things will pass, no matter how big or troublesome they may appear.

In addition, it reminds me that whenever intense emotions arise it simply indicates that I care—and I’d rather go through life with care than with apathy.

Reflection
What do you care about?