If Not You, Then Someone One Else!
In a recent episode of Magic Words: Principles for Conjuring Personal & Professional Growth I shared a story attributed to Christopher Columbus. As the story goes, when Columbus sailed across the Atlantic to the “New World” there were those who criticized him, saying that anyone could have made the same voyage. To this, Columbus simply replied: “Yes, but I am the one who actually did!”
 
This story may or may not be true (as with many of the stories we’ve been told about Columbus) but its sentiment points to a common truth: whenever someone does something significant there will always be someone to rain on the parade.

During my formative years as a magician the urban shaman David Blaine became a household name with his 1997 television special David Blaine: Street Magic. The special did something unique by emphasizing the exaggerated audience reactions rather than focusing in the magic that Blaine performed. Before the show was even over I could already hear magicians the world over chastise the 24-year old magician, accusing him of having no stage presence and only using standard magic props. The overwhelming consensus was that any other magician could have been the star of the show.

We could debate the validity of their arguments, or acknowledge how the ego is always willing to work overtime, but this would ignore the fact that if something is possible then there will always be empowered people to bring it to life. Yes, many magicians could have made audiences scream, laugh, yell, and jump up and down on camera the way Blaine did, but in 1997 it happened to be David Blaine who actually did it.
 
Multiple Discoveries
In science there’s an idea known as multiple discovery, or simultaneous invention. This is when multiple people discover or create the same or very similar things simultaneously and independently. Popular examples include:

• The formulation of calculus by Isaac Newton and Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz.
• The discovery of oxygen by Carl Wilhelm Scheele, Joseph Priestley, and Antoine Lavoisier.
• The creation of the theory of evolution by Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace.

 
An incredible modern example of this is found in literature. The author Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book Big Magic, tells the story of a book she started to write but never finished. Evelyn of the Amazon, as it was tentatively titled, was to tell a harrowing tale:

Why This Matters
Recognizing and accepting that we won’t always be the first to do something—and that we won’t always be the best at something—is imperative for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. What’s more, sometimes what we think we want isn’t really in our best interest. There are only so many hours in the day and so to be most effective in our lives part of our work is to focus on the activities that are best suited to our skills, interests, responsibilities, and motivation.
 
3 Questions To Ask Yourself
When faced with a myriad of amazing possibilities, we have the choice to ignore them or to explore them, and if today you feel called start something new then I encourage you to ask yourself these 3 important questions:

1. Can I do it?
2. Should I do it?
3. Will I do it?

 
Can I Do It?
This is a confidence question. What it really means is:

Pursuing Real Magic
As a magician I’ve always been on the lookout for the greatest magic trick of all. When I was younger I thought it would have something to do with mastering sleight of hand or using smoke and mirrors, but what I eventually came to understand is that the greatest magic of all has nothing to do with tricks and instead has more to do with something much more valuable.

Before I share this idea I’ll give you some context for how I discovered this concept:
Think of the last time you were disrupted by something outside of your control. For example, it might be a colleague, spouse, or friend who did something unexpected. Or it might be a traffic jam or accident, or a rainstorm that ruined your parade or a sunny day that ruined your ice-skating trip. Whatever it is, think of this trigger that caused a disruption to your ordinary world.
How did you respond?

There are many things in this life that we can't control—we can't control nature, the weather, or our biology, and we can't control the emotions, thoughts, words, and actions of others—but what we can control is how we respond to these things.

1. Do we choose to respond with fascination and build ourselves up?
2. Do we choose to respond with frustration and give up?

The Experience of Frustration
A number of years ago my ordinary world was disrupted by a trigger outside of my control, and I didn’t react very well to it. A psychologist at the time explained that I was experiencing what was known as situational or temporary depression, yet my reaction to this situation over a period of nearly three years created what I would more appropriately call persistent depression. I was grieving not just the initial trigger but also the loss of who I once was, and this frustration eventually lead to the experience of hopeless despair.

​Despite this, I still held onto an idea—an idea that I could choose to ignore or explore. Today I am passionate about sharing this transformational idea with those who are experiencing frustration, confusion, discouragement, negative affirmations, and despair, because it’s an idea that has not only changed my life but has also sincerely saved my life. This simple yet transformational idea is Fascination.

I believe that choosing fascination over frustration is the key to enjoying the highest levels of happiness in life, and to understand how fascination works in this way we’ll explore themes found in mythology.

The Hero’s Journey To Joy
The Hero’s Journey is a mythological concept that serves as a storytelling template to communicate the adventure, crisis, victory, and transformation of the main character or “hero.” The concept was first introduced by the anthropologist Edward Burnett in 1871, later expounded upon by many others, and then popularized by the mythologist Joseph Campbell.

We can see this pattern in storytelling, books, and movies, yet we can also view our own lives through this same mythological lens. By viewing life’s circumstances as reflections of the Hero’s Journey we naturally become engaged, active, and purposeful participants with life, rather than passive, disengaged, and uninspired spectators of life.

There are key words that serve as signposts for each phase of this journey, and these signposts form what I call, The 5 Levels of Happiness, which can be understood as a happiness spectrum. For clarity, I’ll explain each of the 5 Level of Happiness in context with the Hero’s Journey:

THE ORDINARY WORLD
The beginning of every myth is the experience of stability in the ordinary world—an ordinary world that heroes accept as their normal natural state. In the context of the happiness spectrum, the ground floor of both happiness and unhappiness are made up of the same thing, and that is acceptance. For our purposes we will define acceptance as the acknowledgment of what can and cannot be controlled. From this foundational vantage we can move up or down the happiness spectrum.

• The Ground Floor of Happiness & Unhappiness is Acceptance.

TRIGGER
When a trigger disrupts the ordinary world heroes can choose to respond with frustration and give up, or respond with fascination and maintain curiosity to build themselves up. By choosing fascination heroes set into motion positive momentum.

• Level One of Happiness is Fascination.
• Level One of Unhappiness is Frustration.

CALL TO ADVENTURE
Fascination with life’s disruptions becomes a call to adventure! This is where curiosity leads to inspiration, with the creation of empowering dreams and goals as solutions to the disruption. Conversely, choosing frustration chokes curiosity, prevents inspiration, and leads to confusion.

• Level Two of Happiness is Inspiration.
• Level Two of Unhappiness is Confusion.

THE JOURNEY
Encouraged by empowered dreams and goals heroes become motivated to begin a journey towards the achievement of their supreme efforts! Conversely, confusion leads to discouragement, holding heroes back from taking motivated action. 

• Level Three of Happiness is Motivation.
• Level Three of Unhappiness is Discouragement.

ORDEAL & REWARD
At some point during the journey heroes inevitably come face-to-face with their biggest challenges and receive their due reward. This success serves as positive affirmation to keep fighting the good fight! Conversely, discouragement can lead to the negative affirmation rewards of pity parties, victim-mentality-driven sympathy, and “misery loves company” attitudes.

• Level Four of Happiness is Positive Affirmation.
• Level Four of Unhappiness is Negative Affirmation.

TRANSFORMATION
The final stage of the Hero’s Journey is the transformation of the ordinary world to experience the highest level of happiness--Joy! This is where true enjoyment and excellence becomes possible due to the courage to take on the challenge of the transformational journey. Conversely, when heroes are content with the illusionary rewards of negative affirmation this can lead to the experience of hopeless despair.

• Level Five of Happiness is Joy.
• Level Five of Unhappiness is Despair.

After nearly three years of living in the dark night of the soul I embarked on a journey to crawl out of despair and back to the ground floor of acceptance. Once back on solid ground I resolved to make better choices moving forward, and the first choice was simple yet profound. Instead of being frustrated by the triggers that disrupt my world I chose instead to be fascinated by them. In so doing I became the hero of my own story, inspired and motivated to answer the call to adventure, allowing me the opportunity to grow and become more than I ever dreamed I could be and experience the highest levels of happiness.

If Your Life Were A Myth
Seeing your life as a myth is an exciting perspective. It’s like living a fascinating book or movie! It’s also fun to wonder who would play you in the movie version of your life. For me it would definitely be the versatile, prolific, and genius actor Eddie Murphy—because if anyone could pull it off it would be him. Of course it would also have to be directed by Quentin Tarantino. 

If lately you’ve been frustrated, confused, or discouraged, then I encourage you to try Fascination on for size. As you do, you may find the following myth-related prompts helpful:

1. If your life were a myth, how would you describe your ordinary world?
2. What trigger is disrupting your world? Are you frustrated or fascinated?
3. What’s your call to adventure? What are your dreams and goals?
4. Have you begun your journey? If so, what’s motivating you? If not, what’s getting in your way?
5. What rewards are you seeking? What positive affirmations have you already received?
6. What kind of transformation are you working towards? What Joys have you already experienced?

It’s been many years since I first worked through those prompts myself, and today I am stronger and happier than I’ve ever been. Even still, I can say with confidence that disappointments still hurt, and sad things still cause tears; but, I can also say with authority that what I learned in the process of digging myself out of despair has given me a perspective that makes the low points of life seem a little less low, and makes the dark days seem a little less dark. And that has proven to be a greater experience of magic than any sleight of hand or smoke and mirrors ever will be.

Final Thoughts
No one and no thing can make you enjoy your life, and no one and no thing can make you excel in life. Enjoyment and excellence are personal choices. You choose to enjoy life when you choose to be fascinated rather than frustrated—when instead of giving up you choose to build yourself up. And you choose to excel in life when you take what you know and you take what you’ve been given and you do something amazing with it.

As a lasting piece of encouragement, I leave you with the words of Joseph Campbell:

It’s been said that the greatest responsibility of a leader is to empower their followers. But what exactly does it mean to “empower?” The dictionary defines empowerment as the authority and power to do something. With this in mind, I’d suggest that the responsibility of empowerment extends not just to others but to the self as well. After all, we can’t give to others what we don’t ourselves possess; therefore self-empowerment becomes a prerequisite to empowering others.
 
Empowerment gives us the confidence and motivation to jump into action with our grand plans, while a lack of empowerment holds us back. Disempowerment keeps us from moving forward, favoring the status quo of average and a “good enough” mindset.
 
Empowerment Practices
In my book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.?: Rethinking Positive Thinking, I share an eight-step process for developing and fostering positivity to enjoy and excel in life at work, home, and beyond. For the purposes of this article, here’s a brief summary of three of those practices that you can begin implementing today for your own personal empowerment:
 
1. Stimulate Your Passions
For our purposes we will define passion as the intersection of our talents and our interests. That is, the cross-section of the things that we can do better than most people with little or no effort, and the things that we think about even when we should be thinking about other things. When we combine these two things, Bippity Boppity Boo, we find passion.
 
Experts often say that we should focus on our passions because it helps us become most engaged in our work, but stimulating our passions takes us a step further because it highlights the gap between what we want to do and what we’re currently capable of doing.
 
It’s kind of like the gap between a train and a station platform: if we’re not aware of the gap then we could end up falling and missing the train! In a similar way, if we aren’t aware of our skills and knowledge gap then we can end up missing the train of life and never get to where we want to go with our lives.
 
In his book High Performance Habits, personal growth expert Brendon Burchard talks about this same idea. He says:
 
“A Super Bowl-winning quarterback doesn’t just know how to throw a ball. He has had to master mental toughness, nutrition, self-discipline, contract negotiations, brand building, and so on. Someone who reaches high performance in any career must have competence in many of the areas that touch that career (p. 15).”
 
There’s a difference between someone who knows how to throw a ball and someone who celebrates the success of a Super Bowl Win. And that difference is a one person came down out of the clouds, stimulated their passions, and did everything they needed to turn the dream into a vision.
 
What’s your passion? What skills and knowledge touch that passion? Empower yourself today and every day by stimulating your passions.
 
2. Identify Your Responsibilities
Winston Churchill once said that the price of greatness is responsibility. One source of empowerment, then, is to identify our responsibilities. In a world where many avoid responsibility by doing just the bare minimum to get by, the path of responsibility is one where we’ll perhaps find few travel companions, yet it’s one well worth the effort.
 
An important thing to keep in mind here is that we sometimes hold ourselves accountable for things that we truly have no control over. There’s a difference between the things that we can change and the things that we need to just let go of. Our task, then, is to identify what we can control so we can recognize our true responsibilities.
 
To get start, consider these questions:
·      What can you control?
·      What responsibilities do you have to yourself?
·      If you have a family (e.g. parents, children, spouse, etc.) what are your responsibilities to them?
·      If you live in a community, what is your responsibility as a neighbor?
·      If you have a job, what is your responsibility to your customers, co-workers, and to your employer?
·      If you are a member of the human race, and a citizen of this Earth, what are your responsibilities to the world?
 
The concept of responsibility is simple yet it can at times be challenging to put into practice, at least in the beginning. It’s safe to say that most everyone wants to change the world for the better; it’s just that not everyone is willing to change themselves. Yet, by identifying our responsibilities we’ll become empowered to experience positive growth because it cuts through the distracting noise of everyday life, highlighting a clear path for action.
 
The important thing to remember is to take that first step. There are only so many hours in the day. Saying no to things that you aren’t responsible for frees up your schedule to say yes to the things that you are responsible for. Empower yourself today by identifying your responsibilities.
 
3. Invest In Worthy Guides
In 2015 I went skydiving for the first time. I wouldn’t particularly call myself a daredevil; rather, I simply put my trust in those who are masters of their craft. I didn’t dive into the sky alone. Rather, I dove into the sky with the security of being strapped to someone who had made that same jump literally thousands of times.
 
The ancient Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus, in the book Enchiridion, is quoted as saying:
 
“One of the best ways to elevate your character immediately is to find worthy role models to emulate.”
 
Consider that successful sport teams never go it alone; rather, they always have a coach to help show them the way. These coaches are people who have prior knowledge and experience that they use to offer advice and encouragement. They’ve gone that way before and can offer a welcomed perspective of things to look for, things to avoid, and things to try along the journey. Just as a sports team would never go into a game without a coach, it would be just as silly for you or I to try to go it alone in the game of life when there are worthy coaches, guides, and mentors available to us.
 
That’s the power of a worthy guide. They can take us to the edge and guide us safely through the thrill of positive growth and development. They show us the way, tell us what tools and skills we’ll need, and advise use when to jump and when to hold back. Empower yourself today by investing in worthy guides.
 
Final Thoughts
Ultimately there are three kinds of people when it comes to empowerment, or a lack thereof:

1. Those who don’t know what they would like to do. In other words, they are confused.
2. Those who know what they want to do, but don’t do it. In other words, they are frustrated (and maybe a little unconfident, discouraged, afraid, scared, or lazy too!)
3. Those who know what they want to do, and do it. In other words, they are fulfilled.

 
There’s no need to be confused or frustrated. Employing the three empowerment practices shared in this article can provide you with an easy to follow roadmap for becoming empowered. So if lately you’ve been feeling unmotivated, unconfident, and unfulfilled, implement these practices today and see what they can do for you.

One of my favorite moments as a magician happened during the spring of 2009.  I was contracted to tour all the senior centers in Springfield, MA with my magic act and when I showed up to one of the locations one afternoon I was met with a most unfortunate circumstance. Everyone was playing bingo.
 
 If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a performer it’s that no one wants to be interrupted from what they’re doing to watch a magic show. Especially senior citizens playing bingo! After explaining that I had been asked to present that day a woman in the back of the room gave me a stern stare and a scowl. Her only question was, “How long is your show going to take?”

“It depends,” I replied. “If everyone is enjoying themselves and participating then the show can go as long as an hour, but if there’s not as much participation then it will probably be over in about 40 minutes or so.”

Her response wasn’t very reassuring: “It will be a short show.”

Regardless of the circumstances and the criticism, I boldly stepped forward and performed giving everyone my best effort. To be sure, there were a number of folks there that were interested in my presentation and I quickly aligned myself with those allies, but I kept a close eye on that woman in the back.  

It was about halfway through the performance that I noticed her expression begin to change. Where once there was a scowl there appeared a smile, and where once there was scorn there was now laughter. By the end of the show this same woman who had wanted nothing to do with me actually willingly volunteered to participate with one of the demonstrations! 

As I was making my rounds after the show thanking everyone for having me, the woman pulled me aside and paid me a compliment that to this day I don’t think has ever been beaten. She said, “Jonas, I don’t like magicians, but I like you!”
​

During the ensuing hospital stay I had plenty of time to reflect on where I went wrong.  Even though I had practiced the stunt, in rehearsal I didn’t actually use real acid (after all, why practice something that you can only afford to fail once?) So in rehearsal I instead used seltzer, and it worked fine—most of the time.  Sometimes I did drank the seltzer by mistake.  But as the night of the talent show got closer and closer I was running out of time and was relying on this stunt to be the big closure of my act, so I decided that it just needed to work, so I just put on “positive attitude” about the whole thing and went for it. Unfortunately this “positive attitude” ignored the reality of my circumstances—it ignored the fact that it was not a good idea!  ​