Positivity PapersThese articles include my latest thoughts, research, and strategies for developing and fostering positivity in everyday life to improve our lives at home, work, and the community. Subscribe today to never miss the latest research!
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 We may not be able to control everything that happens to us, but we are empowered to choose how we respond to our circumstances to facilitate positive outcomes. We’re living in a time hungry for people to think, be and stay positive. The world needs individuals from all walks of life to step up and lead with positivity for the benefit of themselves and for those within their sphere of influence. Our lives are filled with conflicting influences, with some influences that can be considered “positive” and other influences that can be considered “negative,” and still other influences that are neutral and are best understood as opportunities. From there we have a simple choice: to respond positively with fascination to create outcomes that are constructive, or to respond negatively with frustration to create outcomes that are destructive. The choice of which response would be most appropriate can perhaps be made clear when we consider that many disciplines have suggested that negativity has a greater impact than positivity. For example:
The affects of negativity can be far reaching, and since these affects can be far worse than their corresponding positive influences, I suggest that this is a strong case for making positivity an intentional initiative rather than a happy happenstance, by focusing our choices that create outcomes that are constructive rather than destructive. To paint a clear picture of the consequences of negativity in our lives, here’s a brief outline of some of these effects on our work, on our relationships, and on our health: Work People spend a substantial part of their lives at work, and the quality of their workplace experience inevitably reflects in the quality of their lives. A single instance of a negative influence in the workplace can have a huge effect on an organization. More than just a morale killer, according to a recent Gallup study negativity in the workplace costs the economy between $450 and $550 billion dollars annually! Negativity in the workplace is a communal effort. If we don’t step in to counteract it, then we are supporting it with our silence. Here’s a brief summary of the consequences of negativity in the workplace: Negativity influences how team members work together—when attitudes aren’t in alignment stresses occur that lead to resentment and hostility, which can be expressed as gossip, lack of empathy, lack of understanding, or lack of communication. Negativity influences a worker’s attitude—giving workers a “just a job” attitude where they only do “just enough” to keep their job rather offering energy and innovation to move an organization forward. Negativity influences attendance—when the workplace isn’t a positive place to be workers look for an escape, whether through genuine stress-induced illness, or through inappropriately used sick days. According to some estimates this costs upwards of 9% of payroll. Negativity influences employee retention—when the workplace is a source of negativity team members will look for other opportunities to jump ship, costing an organization lost productivity and revenue as new employees are recruited and trained. According to some estimates the average internal cost of turnover ranges from six to nine months salary, while other research indicates that total turnover costs can be closer to 150% of an employee’s base salary, and still further research suggests the average churn costs 213% of the base salary. When we choose to employ positivity principles and practices in our work, not only do we provide an environment and culture conducive to effective collaboration, but we also take responsibility for setting a good example for ourselves and for those around us. Because negativity has such a far-reaching effect on not only our attitudes but also on the bottom-line, it follows that taking positive preventative action is a must. Relationships  The environment and mindset that we have at work can impact our relationships outside of work, by influencing our behaviors and attitudes among our personal relationships, whether among family or among friends. It’s been said that people tend to rise or fall according to the sum total of their social circle, meaning if you spend a significant amount of time with a certain quality of social connections, whether they be positive, negative, or neutral, their influence will be seen in your own attitude, behavior, skills, and ambitions. Just like in a workplace setting where one Negative Nancy or Negative Ned—or one Frustrated Francine or Frustrated Fred—can drag down an entire workplace culture, so too can just one negative individual in a social circle have a detrimental effect on the morale of the entire group. Negativity among friends and family can present itself in subtle ways. It can appear as allowing destructive behavior to go unchecked, but it’s disguised as wanting to be nice or not wanting to “rock the boat,” or risk offending. It can come as complacency and stagnation, holding each other back out of fear of change. It can appear as playful jeering that when gone too far can lead to more overt negative consequences. These more obvious impacts can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, being over critical of others all while ignoring our own shortcomings. It can lead to “coldshoulders,” silent treatments, ghosting, gossip, and a severe lack of perspective, understanding, and empathy. Most of all it robs us of enjoying the precious time that we have with those most dear to us. When we choose to employ positivity principles and practices in our relationships, we end up choosing carefully who we associate with, and we become a positive influence for those around us. Because negativity has such a far-reaching effect not only on ourselves, but also for the people within our sphere of influence, it follows that taking positive preventative action is a must. Health These negative influences have just as much damaging impacts on our health. Stress-induced illness is a real thing that can lead to a weakened immune system, a decrease in pain tolerance, and an increased risk for heart disease. While those are the extreme consequences caused by negativity, some of the less severe effects include anxiety and depression—which alone can lead to further negative consequences in all areas of life compounded by a poor attitude, decreased confidence, and lowered ambition. Another conditioned caused by negativity that doesn’t get talked about as much is something called stress cardiomyopathy—a condition with similar symptoms to a heart attack and which results in your heart not working as well as it should. All of these health risks caused by negativity can further lead to increased stresses in your relationships and in your work, which only adds more fuel to the cycle of negative influences. When we choose to employ positivity principles and practices to our health, we do all that we can to remove or reduce negative influences that can potentially hold ourselves back from achieving the level of enjoyment and excellence that we deserve. The affects of negativity can be far reaching—on our work, on our relationships, and on our health—and since the affects can be far worse than their corresponding positive influences, it follows that we should seek to be more intentional about our choices to create outcomes that are constructive rather than destructive. The Positivity Magic Difference  How would your work be different if your workplace culture was a positive place to be? How would your relationships be impacted if you and the people you connect with practiced positivity principles by design rather than defaulting to negativity? How would your health be transformed if your life were infused with more constructive choices rather than destructive ones? We may not be able to control everything that happens to us, but we are empowered to choose how we respond to our circumstances to facilitate positive outcomes. According to one study it’s suggested that 50% of our happiness or unhappiness is outside of our control—a “set point” decided by our DNA. 10% is decided by our “circumstances”—the environments we find ourselves in and the things that happen to us. The remaining 40% is decided by our “intentional activity”—the choices that we make, whether by default or by design, in response to our DNA and our circumstances. The choices that we make, regardless of the circumstances and our heredity, can be a real game changer in whether we accept a life filled with negativity, or whether we choose instead to facilitate a life of positivity. Final Thoughts Positivity matters because we matter. Each and every one of us is uniquely poised to make the world around us better simply because we are here. To help facilitate these positive experience a good place to start is by making better choices at work, in our relationships, and for our health. If you’d like more ideas on how to leverage positivity in your life, check out the articles in my Positivity Papers series, browse the available books, and watch my Magic Words videos for concise weekly coaching. If you’re looking for a personalized approach then you can sign up for one-on-one coaching here. Or, if you’re corporate team is in need of positivity training to improve the workplace culture and improve morale, you can schedule a Positivity Magic workshop here. Jonas Cain is an author, magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company helps organizations develop a positive workplace culture and coaches individuals to develop a positive mindset so they can experience the next level of enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond.
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 If you’re considering making a move, there are 3 important questions to ask yourself. If Not You, Then Someone One Else! In a recent episode of Magic Words: Principles for Conjuring Personal & Professional Growth I shared a story attributed to Christopher Columbus. As the story goes, when Columbus sailed across the Atlantic to the “New World” there were those who criticized him, saying that anyone could have made the same voyage. To this, Columbus simply replied: “Yes, but I am the one who actually did!” This story may or may not be true (as with many of the stories we’ve been told about Columbus) but its sentiment points to a common truth: whenever someone does something significant there will always be someone to rain on the parade. During my formative years as a magician the urban shaman David Blaine became a household name with his 1997 television special David Blaine: Street Magic. The special did something unique by emphasizing the exaggerated audience reactions rather than focusing in the magic that Blaine performed. Before the show was even over I could already hear magicians the world over chastise the 24-year old magician, accusing him of having no stage presence and only using standard magic props. The overwhelming consensus was that any other magician could have been the star of the show. We could debate the validity of their arguments, or acknowledge how the ego is always willing to work overtime, but this would ignore the fact that if something is possible then there will always be empowered people to bring it to life. Yes, many magicians could have made audiences scream, laugh, yell, and jump up and down on camera the way Blaine did, but in 1997 it happened to be David Blaine who actually did it. Multiple Discoveries In science there’s an idea known as multiple discovery, or simultaneous invention. This is when multiple people discover or create the same or very similar things simultaneously and independently. Popular examples include:
An incredible modern example of this is found in literature. The author Elizabeth Gilbert, in her book Big Magic, tells the story of a book she started to write but never finished. Evelyn of the Amazon, as it was tentatively titled, was to tell a harrowing tale: “It’s about a spinster from Minnesota who’s been quietly in love with her married boss for many years. He gets involved in a harebrained business scheme down in the Amazon jungle. A bunch of money and a person go missing. At which point her quiet life is completely turned into chaos. Also, it’s a love story” Despite doing extensive research for the book, Gilbert never finished writing it. Not long afterwards she learned that one of her colleagues, Ann Patchett, had published her own new book, State of Wonder. Can you guess what this latest book was about? The book’s summary was identical to Evelyn of the Amazon! Despite knowing nothing about Gilbert’s book, Patchett had independently “discovered” the story herself! Instead of being angry or jealous about losing her book to another author, Gilbert gracefully recognized the oft-quoted maxim: “Ya snooze, ya lose!”
Remember, the ego is always willing to work overtime, and if left unchecked our default reactions will lean towards jealousy, resentment, anger, or the like. It may even lead to an illusion of superiority, which essentially echoes the words of a famous song: "Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!" Why This Matters Recognizing and accepting that we won’t always be the first to do something—and that we won’t always be the best at something—is imperative for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. What’s more, sometimes what we think we want isn’t really in our best interest. There are only so many hours in the day and so to be most effective in our lives part of our work is to focus on the activities that are best suited to our skills, interests, responsibilities, and motivation. 3 Questions To Ask Yourself When faced with a myriad of amazing possibilities, we have the choice to ignore them or to explore them, and if today you feel called start something new then I encourage you to ask yourself these 3 important questions:
Can I Do It? This is a confidence question. What it really means is: “Do I currently have the skills and talents? necessary to do what it is I wish to do?” This first question is a trick question, though, because if you’ve ever had the opportunity to see me speak at a conference or facilitate a workshop at a professional development event, then you know that I encourage my clients not to ask “Can I” because the question contains inherent doubt, with the power to hold you back even before you get started. Words have power, and so the better question is “How Can I?” This question is a build-up question because it presumes that there is a way and your task is to simply find what that way is. If your answer to this question is “I can't” or “I don’t know” then that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story. It may mean you just have to find the answer or acquire the necessary skills. Should I Do It? This is a clarity question. What it really means is: "Is this an ethical and a valuable use of my time?" Just because you are empowered to do something that doesn't mean that you should do it. Perhaps it would be unethical. Perhaps you just don't have the interest of passion for it. Or perhaps there are other things that demand your attention and so it's best to leave whatever it is you were considering to those who are more qualified with skill, interest, and time. Will I Do It? This is a courage question. What this really means is: “Do I want it bad enough, even it means overcoming my fears?” When your desire for something more is stronger than your desire to maintain the status quo, you will become motivated to jump into action. Put another way, you are far more likely to step into your calling when the cost of not taking action outweighs any potential cost of taking action. Final Thoughts Whether you’re a magician or an author, a CEO or a general manager, an entrepreneur or anything else, it’s important to remember that if something is possible then there will always be empowered people to bring it to life. You may not be the first, you may not be the best, and it may not even be the best use of your skills, interests, and time, but you’ll never know until you stop ignoring it and start exploring it. What’s your latest idea? What amazing gift to the world are you sitting on? If you don’t act on it today, then surely someone else will. Whatever it is that you are inspired to explore today, I encourage you to not ignore it. Instead, ask these 3 important questions to put your ideas, dreams, and goals to the test:
Positivity Magic offers books and online courses for independent study, as well as encouraging one-on-one coaching session, empowering team development workshops, and engaging keynotes presentations. Accept your FREE Positivity Breakthrough Session Today at PositivityMagic.com/Contact START YOUR JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY TODAY!
— READER REVIEWS --Rediscovery of How to Live! “This book contains all the required principles for living a happy life. It draws from a variety of excellent sources to instruct the reader in achieving their goals. I highly recommend you read and ponder it as a fine wine being tasted and enjoyed for the first time.” — Vulcanicus (Amazon Reader) Very Eye-Opening! “This is my second time reading this book. This book is perfect for anyone who may need a little help figuring their life purpose out, or in my case, needing a little inspiration to keep chugging on the train of self-discovery. I gave 5 stars because it is such an honest, raw read. It tells you exactly what you are trying to think, but can’t find the words for it. Loved it!” — Raechel S. (Amazon Reader) Get your copy today at Amazon.com or PositivityMagic.com.
 If you’ve ever been frustrated, confused, or discouraged, then try this strategy. Pursuing Real Magic As a magician I’ve always been on the lookout for the greatest magic trick of all. When I was younger I thought it would have something to do with mastering sleight of hand or using smoke and mirrors, but what I eventually came to understand is that the greatest magic of all has nothing to do with tricks and instead has more to do with something much more valuable. Before I share this idea I’ll give you some context for how I discovered this concept: Think of the last time you were disrupted by something outside of your control. For example, it might be a colleague, spouse, or friend who did something unexpected. Or it might be a traffic jam or accident, or a rainstorm that ruined your parade or a sunny day that ruined your ice-skating trip. Whatever it is, think of this trigger that caused a disruption to your ordinary world. How did you respond? There are many things in this life that we can't control—we can't control nature, the weather, or our biology, and we can't control the emotions, thoughts, words, and actions of others—but what we can control is how we respond to these things.
The Experience of Frustration A number of years ago my ordinary world was disrupted by a trigger outside of my control, and I didn’t react very well to it. A psychologist at the time explained that I was experiencing what was known as situational or temporary depression, yet my reaction to this situation over a period of nearly three years created what I would more appropriately call persistent depression. I was grieving not just the initial trigger but also the loss of who I once was, and this frustration eventually lead to the experience of hopeless despair. Despite this, I still held onto an idea—an idea that I could choose to ignore or explore. Today I am passionate about sharing this transformational idea with those who are experiencing frustration, confusion, discouragement, negative affirmations, and despair, because it’s an idea that has not only changed my life but has also sincerely saved my life. This simple yet transformational idea is Fascination. I believe that choosing fascination over frustration is the key to enjoying the highest levels of happiness in life, and to understand how fascination works in this way we’ll explore themes found in mythology. The Hero’s Journey To Joy The Hero’s Journey is a mythological concept that serves as a storytelling template to communicate the adventure, crisis, victory, and transformation of the main character or “hero.” The concept was first introduced by the anthropologist Edward Burnett in 1871, later expounded upon by many others, and then popularized by the mythologist Joseph Campbell. We can see this pattern in storytelling, books, and movies, yet we can also view our own lives through this same mythological lens. By viewing life’s circumstances as reflections of the Hero’s Journey we naturally become engaged, active, and purposeful participants with life, rather than passive, disengaged, and uninspired spectators of life. There are key words that serve as signposts for each phase of this journey, and these signposts form what I call, The 5 Levels of Happiness, which can be understood as a happiness spectrum. For clarity, I’ll explain each of the 5 Level of Happiness in context with the Hero’s Journey: THE ORDINARY WORLD The beginning of every myth is the experience of stability in the ordinary world—an ordinary world that heroes accept as their normal natural state. In the context of the happiness spectrum, the ground floor of both happiness and unhappiness are made up of the same thing, and that is acceptance. For our purposes we will define acceptance as the acknowledgment of what can and cannot be controlled. From this foundational vantage we can move up or down the happiness spectrum.
TRIGGER When a trigger disrupts the ordinary world heroes can choose to respond with frustration and give up, or respond with fascination and maintain curiosity to build themselves up. By choosing fascination heroes set into motion positive momentum.
CALL TO ADVENTURE Fascination with life’s disruptions becomes a call to adventure! This is where curiosity leads to inspiration, with the creation of empowering dreams and goals as solutions to the disruption. Conversely, choosing frustration chokes curiosity, prevents inspiration, and leads to confusion.
THE JOURNEY Encouraged by empowered dreams and goals heroes become motivated to begin a journey towards the achievement of their supreme efforts! Conversely, confusion leads to discouragement, holding heroes back from taking motivated action.
ORDEAL & REWARD At some point during the journey heroes inevitably come face-to-face with their biggest challenges and receive their due reward. This success serves as positive affirmation to keep fighting the good fight! Conversely, discouragement can lead to the negative affirmation rewards of pity parties, victim-mentality-driven sympathy, and “misery loves company” attitudes.
TRANSFORMATION The final stage of the Hero’s Journey is the transformation of the ordinary world to experience the highest level of happiness--Joy! This is where true enjoyment and excellence becomes possible due to the courage to take on the challenge of the transformational journey. Conversely, when heroes are content with the illusionary rewards of negative affirmation this can lead to the experience of hopeless despair.
After nearly three years of living in the dark night of the soul I embarked on a journey to crawl out of despair and back to the ground floor of acceptance. Once back on solid ground I resolved to make better choices moving forward, and the first choice was simple yet profound. Instead of being frustrated by the triggers that disrupt my world I chose instead to be fascinated by them. In so doing I became the hero of my own story, inspired and motivated to answer the call to adventure, allowing me the opportunity to grow and become more than I ever dreamed I could be and experience the highest levels of happiness. If Your Life Were A Myth Seeing your life as a myth is an exciting perspective. It’s like living a fascinating book or movie! It’s also fun to wonder who would play you in the movie version of your life. For me it would definitely be the versatile, prolific, and genius actor Eddie Murphy—because if anyone could pull it off it would be him. Of course it would also have to be directed by Quentin Tarantino. If lately you’ve been frustrated, confused, or discouraged, then I encourage you to try Fascination on for size. As you do, you may find the following myth-related prompts helpful:
It’s been many years since I first worked through those prompts myself, and today I am stronger and happier than I’ve ever been. Even still, I can say with confidence that disappointments still hurt, and sad things still cause tears; but, I can also say with authority that what I learned in the process of digging myself out of despair has given me a perspective that makes the low points of life seem a little less low, and makes the dark days seem a little less dark. And that has proven to be a greater experience of magic than any sleight of hand or smoke and mirrors ever will be. Final Thoughts No one and no thing can make you enjoy your life, and no one and no thing can make you excel in life. Enjoyment and excellence are personal choices. You choose to enjoy life when you choose to be fascinated rather than frustrated—when instead of giving up you choose to build yourself up. And you choose to excel in life when you take what you know and you take what you’ve been given and you do something amazing with it. As a lasting piece of encouragement, I leave you with the words of Joseph Campbell: The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." In other words, Stay Fascinated! Jonas Cain is an author, magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for motivated individuals looking to achieve the next level of excellence and enjoyment at work, home, and beyond. These interactive programs are strategically designed to help you and your team Foster Meaningful Connections, Develop A Positive Mindset, Gain Greater Vision & Clarity, and Implement Enjoyment & Excellence Practices.
If you, your team, or organization is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then visit PositivityMagic.com/Contact to accept your FREE Positivity Breakthrough Session Today!  There’s an often-quoted mantra that says: “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.” This is a valuable sentiment that should not to be taken lightly. According to a worldwide Gallup study of 142 countries, only 13% of workers are actively engaged in their work. This means that 87% of the workforce isn’t in the game to win—they’re simply in the game to not lose! Rather than making an honest effort to consciously contribute in a positive way to their companies and organizations, these workers are more interested in doing just enough to keep their jobs and not get fired. Whether this describes you or the people on your team, “no matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up” is a good way to start—however there’s more to “showing up” than simply looking the part and being physically present. If that’s all we do then it’s as effective as putting a suit on a mannequin! Engagement—being fully present and committed to excellence—requires more. When I was a student at Salem State University one of my favorite professors was Mandy Lobraico, a true communicator who highlighted the potential power of engagement. In her classes she made sure that every question was answered completely and she wouldn’t test us on what she taught until she was sure that we understood the material. This approach to education guaranteed success, so long as you showed up each day and engaged in each lesson. Failure simply was not possible so long as you were engaged. Of course, some students still failed her course, because some students didn’t bother showing up! Other students showed up but sat in the back of the room and tuned out. They may have dressed up and showed up, but they weren’t really there because they lacked engagement. Gauging Engagement If you’re looking to increase your level of engagement then it helps to develop awareness—both for when you are and when you are not engaged. To help with this, the author Eckhart Tolle promotes what he calls modalities of awakened doing. The concept is simple: whatever it is you do, seek to do it with enthusiasm, enjoyment, or acceptance. The ultimate goal is to be enthusiastic, but enjoyment is still, well, enjoyable! But at the very least, we must be able to accept what we are doing. Part of the allure of enthusiasm is that when we have it, we no longer need motivation, because when we’re enthusiastic about our work we become naturally motivated, fully engaged, confident in ourselves and our abilities. Enjoyment has it’s own benefits too. I still recall the thrill I felt on September 9, 2017 when I was able to execute, for the first time ever, a chin-up! It was an incredible moment created by a year and a half of weightlifting to build up strength, and running upwards of 8 miles a day to lose weight. I was not always enthusiastic about the process, yet I continue to find enjoyment in knowing that every day I’m doing the work necessary to enact positive changes. Acceptance may not be the most exciting of the three modalities, but it does have its place. Anything worthwhile will require an honest effort, and sometimes that means doing things that we’d rather not experience. If we’re truly committed and truly engaged in the process, then acceptance can see us through. You will know that you’re sincerely engaged in your work and in your life when you can do everything with genuine enthusiasm, enjoyment, or acceptance. In a similar way, you will know that you are disengaged and have gone the wrong way if for too many days, or weeks, or months in a row you can’t even accept what you’re doing. Perhaps it means you’ve been lying to yourself. Maybe you’ve accepted someone else’s dream. Maybe you’re afraid to do what you really want to do in life, discouraged by others or by past disappointment. Or perhaps you just don’t know what it is you really want to do. Whatever the case may be, if you don’t have enthusiasm, enjoyment, or acceptance, then it’s a clear sign that it’s time to find another way. Engagement Practices In my book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.?: Rethinking Positive Thinking, I share an eight-step process for developing and fostering positivity to achieve the next level of enjoyment and excel in life at work, home, and beyond. One of the strategies is a simple one, yet one that you can implement immediately to increase your level of engagement starting today. This strategy employs your passions, which we’ll define as the intersection of your talents and your interests. We’ll define your talents as the things that you can do better than most people with little or no effort, and your interests as the things that you think about even when you should be thinking about something else. Experts suggest that you should focus on your passions because it gets you engaged in your work. While this is true, it also stops too soon. Focusing on your passions may get you into the game, but to stay in the game you’ll need to take it a step further, and that’s where stimulating your passions comes into play. By stimulating your passions the process highlights any gaps between what you want to do and what you’re currently able to do. It fills in your “to do list” with things that lie beyond your natural interests and natural talents, recognizing that you’ll need to gain skills and knowledge that touch your passion. Stimulating your passions enables you to grow beyond where you currently are, closing any and all gaps before they ever have a chance to hold you back. The most successful people start with a dominant talent and then add skills, knowledge and practice into the mix.” — Susan Tardanico The practice of stimulating your passions relieves the tension between contentment and excellence, ensuring that you remain an active participant in all that you do. Final Thoughts Remember, approximately 7 out of 8 of the workers today have actively “checked out,” and are more interested in doing just enough to get by than contributing in a positive way to their companies, communities, and beyond. The good news is that if this describes you or your team for too many days, weeks, or months in a row (or years in a row!) then you’re not alone. The even better news is that there is something you can do about it:
If you’ve been struggling with engagement lately, keep these principles and practices in mind. It’s easy to stay engaged when the tides are in your favor; it’s another matter when the tides are against you. Preparing yourself now for the storms of life will ensure consistent engagement regardless of circumstances. Jonas Cain is an author, corporate magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for professionals looking to advance in their work and life. His positivity books are currently available from Amazon.com and PositivityMagic.com. If you or your organization or corporation is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then contact Jonas directly at jonas@positivitymagic.com to start the conversation and schedule a complimentary consultation.
 “What can I learn today so that tomorrow I will be well poised to not just be a day older but a day wiser too?” It’s been said that the greatest responsibility of a leader is to empower their followers. But what exactly does it mean to “empower?” The dictionary defines empowerment as the authority and power to do something. With this in mind, I’d suggest that the responsibility of empowerment extends not just to others but to the self as well. After all, we can’t give to others what we don’t ourselves possess; therefore self-empowerment becomes a prerequisite to empowering others. Empowerment gives us the confidence and motivation to jump into action with our grand plans, while a lack of empowerment holds us back. Disempowerment keeps us from moving forward, favoring the status quo of average and a “good enough” mindset. Empowerment Practices In my book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.?: Rethinking Positive Thinking, I share an eight-step process for developing and fostering positivity to enjoy and excel in life at work, home, and beyond. For the purposes of this article, here’s a brief summary of three of those practices that you can begin implementing today for your own personal empowerment: 1. Stimulate Your Passions For our purposes we will define passion as the intersection of our talents and our interests. That is, the cross-section of the things that we can do better than most people with little or no effort, and the things that we think about even when we should be thinking about other things. When we combine these two things, Bippity Boppity Boo, we find passion. Experts often say that we should focus on our passions because it helps us become most engaged in our work, but stimulating our passions takes us a step further because it highlights the gap between what we want to do and what we’re currently capable of doing. It’s kind of like the gap between a train and a station platform: if we’re not aware of the gap then we could end up falling and missing the train! In a similar way, if we aren’t aware of our skills and knowledge gap then we can end up missing the train of life and never get to where we want to go with our lives. In his book High Performance Habits, personal growth expert Brendon Burchard talks about this same idea. He says: “A Super Bowl-winning quarterback doesn’t just know how to throw a ball. He has had to master mental toughness, nutrition, self-discipline, contract negotiations, brand building, and so on. Someone who reaches high performance in any career must have competence in many of the areas that touch that career (p. 15).” There’s a difference between someone who knows how to throw a ball and someone who celebrates the success of a Super Bowl Win. And that difference is a one person came down out of the clouds, stimulated their passions, and did everything they needed to turn the dream into a vision. What’s your passion? What skills and knowledge touch that passion? Empower yourself today and every day by stimulating your passions. 2. Identify Your Responsibilities Winston Churchill once said that the price of greatness is responsibility. One source of empowerment, then, is to identify our responsibilities. In a world where many avoid responsibility by doing just the bare minimum to get by, the path of responsibility is one where we’ll perhaps find few travel companions, yet it’s one well worth the effort. An important thing to keep in mind here is that we sometimes hold ourselves accountable for things that we truly have no control over. There’s a difference between the things that we can change and the things that we need to just let go of. Our task, then, is to identify what we can control so we can recognize our true responsibilities. To get start, consider these questions: · What can you control? · What responsibilities do you have to yourself? · If you have a family (e.g. parents, children, spouse, etc.) what are your responsibilities to them? · If you live in a community, what is your responsibility as a neighbor? · If you have a job, what is your responsibility to your customers, co-workers, and to your employer? · If you are a member of the human race, and a citizen of this Earth, what are your responsibilities to the world? The concept of responsibility is simple yet it can at times be challenging to put into practice, at least in the beginning. It’s safe to say that most everyone wants to change the world for the better; it’s just that not everyone is willing to change themselves. Yet, by identifying our responsibilities we’ll become empowered to experience positive growth because it cuts through the distracting noise of everyday life, highlighting a clear path for action. The important thing to remember is to take that first step. There are only so many hours in the day. Saying no to things that you aren’t responsible for frees up your schedule to say yes to the things that you are responsible for. Empower yourself today by identifying your responsibilities. 3. Invest In Worthy Guides In 2015 I went skydiving for the first time. I wouldn’t particularly call myself a daredevil; rather, I simply put my trust in those who are masters of their craft. I didn’t dive into the sky alone. Rather, I dove into the sky with the security of being strapped to someone who had made that same jump literally thousands of times. The ancient Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus, in the book Enchiridion, is quoted as saying: “One of the best ways to elevate your character immediately is to find worthy role models to emulate.” Consider that successful sport teams never go it alone; rather, they always have a coach to help show them the way. These coaches are people who have prior knowledge and experience that they use to offer advice and encouragement. They’ve gone that way before and can offer a welcomed perspective of things to look for, things to avoid, and things to try along the journey. Just as a sports team would never go into a game without a coach, it would be just as silly for you or I to try to go it alone in the game of life when there are worthy coaches, guides, and mentors available to us. That’s the power of a worthy guide. They can take us to the edge and guide us safely through the thrill of positive growth and development. They show us the way, tell us what tools and skills we’ll need, and advise use when to jump and when to hold back. Empower yourself today by investing in worthy guides. Final Thoughts Ultimately there are three kinds of people when it comes to empowerment, or a lack thereof:
There’s no need to be confused or frustrated. Employing the three empowerment practices shared in this article can provide you with an easy to follow roadmap for becoming empowered. So if lately you’ve been feeling unmotivated, unconfident, and unfulfilled, implement these practices today and see what they can do for you. Jonas Cain is an author, corporate magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for professionals looking to advance in their work and life. His positivity books are currently available from Amazon.com and PositivityMagic.com. If you or your organization or corporation is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then contact Jonas directly at jonas@positivitymagic.com to start the conversation and schedule a complimentary consultation.
 “Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize.” Has this ever happened to you? You find yourself inspired, yet are wholly unmotivated to actually put such inspiration into action? This is one of life’s great tragedies. People are endowed with passions—the intersection of their natural talents and burning interests—and are called to share those unique gifts with he world; yet, for many, those passions go unused. What gives? As far as I can tell there are two primary stumbling stones that can hold anyone back: Being discouraged by others, and being discouraged by past disappointment. Some of the most dangerous people in our lives are those well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) loved ones who discourage us from doing what we really need to do, and instead settle for average and less than we were born for. In a similar way, putting ourselves out there and getting burned can also be a painful source of discouragement, keeping us from pursing real and lasting happiness. Are You A Viewer, Or A Participant? For the past eighteen years I’ve served as a youth leadership counselor for the Massachusetts American Legion and Auxiliary Boy’s and Girls’ State Programs. One of the many roles I’ve served with this organization included that of choir director (they’ve never heard me sing so they didn’t know any better!) During the 2017 season I was leading the choir during their final performance at the big gala celebration. As they walked off the stage I gave them a big thumbs up saying, “Great job!” Just as a said this, one student looked me in the eyes saying, “Don’t lie!” I don’t think this student was trying to be humble; rather, I think she was perhaps looking at the situation with different eyes (or ears). Admittedly, their performance wasn’t their best work. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t their best work. So no, their performance wasn’t great, but that wasn’t what I was encouraging them about. You see, there were over 600 students at the program that week, and out of those participants less than 20 stepped up to join the choir. Less than 20 had the guts to raise their hands and volunteer to stand in front of over 600 of their peers to sing their heart out. Perhaps what I most appreciated about the choir that week was that most of them didn’t have any formal music training, yet they decided to get the most out of their experience with the program by trying something new, and that’s what I was congratulating them on and that’s why I was encouraging them. Meanwhile, there were several students who didn’t have the courage to step up who actually did have musical training, but they chose instead to take life sitting down. Show Up To The Arena Think about this: Olympic Gold Medals don’t go to the best athletes in the world; rather, they go to the best athletes that actually show up to the arena. The world doesn’t need passive viewers of life who seek the illusion of happiness through security and the status quo; the world doesn’t people avoiding scrapped knees, humbled pride, and bruised egos. Rather, what the world needs are people who become truly alive, who seek true and solid happiness by becoming active participants with life; what the world needs are people who aren’t afraid of scrapping their knees, humbling their pride, and bruising their ego every now and again. Many are inspired to live an engaged life, yet few are motivated to actually follow through. Whether discouraged by others or by past disappointment, one of the greatest tragedies of life is when people fail to pursue their passions. Practices To Stay Encouraged In my book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.?: Rethinking Positive Thinking, I share an eight-step process for developing and fostering positivity to enjoy and excel in life at work, home, and beyond. For the purposes of this article, here are a couple quick practices that you can implement starting today to stay encouraged: 1. When encountering someone trying to discourage you, ask these questions: • What is this person’s authority on the subject? Does this person have personal experience with what you’re trying to do? Or did they just hear about an experience from someone else? What were the circumstances like? Everyone is different—and so is every situation—so just because someone had a negative experience that doesn’t mean that you will too. In a similar way, just because someone has a positive experience that doesn’t mean that you will have that same experience. Some people fail because they didn’t really want it to work out—maybe they were doing it out of obligation or trying to make someone else happy. Some people fail because they didn’t try hard enough—perhaps out of lack of knowledge, skills, or desire. Yet others fail because of circumstances completely outside of their control—and so no matter how hard they would have tried it just would never have worked out. Notice, though, that none of this has anything to do with you. • What do they stand to lose if you succeed? Discouragers often try to hold others back because they believe they stand to lose if others win. This can either be a real or imagined worry for them. Perhaps they want to succeed in that area, and so you’re seen as a threat. Or perhaps they feel inadequate to succeed, and to see others grow in life is viewed as a threat to their ego. In either case, their concerns have nothing to do with you. • What do they stand to gain is you lose? This is another way of asking the last question, but puts the emphasis in the other direction. If someone sees you as a threat to their own success or as a threat to their ego, if you lose, what benefit will it be to them? Either way, it has nothing to do with you. 2. When you find yourself in a situation where you’re discouraged by past disappointment, consider these questions: • Why do you want to do what you’re considering? Knowing the real reason for why you want to do something can be very empowering. Oftentimes we go through life with vague ideas, simply accepting what life gives us; yet by taking a step back and getting clear on our values and priorities we become empowered. And when we have a compelling enough reason for trying something, we become much more inclined to pursue it, regardless of the risk. • What do you stand to gain if you succeed? This question supports the last question. When what you stand to gain by stepping up is greater than the cost of staying down, you become compelled into action. • What do you stand to lose if you don’t try? This is another support question to understanding your “why.” When what you stand to lose by not taking action is of greater consequence than the cost of trying and possibly failing, you become encouraged to jump into action. • How is your past situation similar or dissimilar to your current situation? No two situations are alike, because everything flows and nothing remains still. Recognizing this is what lead the Greek philosopher Heraclitus to conclude: “You could not step twice into the same river.” Just because you may have had a negative experience that doesn’t mean that you will continue to always have negative experiences. In a similar way, just because you may have had a positive experience that doesn’t mean that you will continue to have those same experiences. Like the ocean tides, everything is in flow. Remembering this will provide encouragement to stand back up from pain. I’m reminded of something a friend of mine often says: “I’m never down. I’m either up or getting up.” Everything Is In Flow I can speak with authenticity on the subject of being discouraged by past disappointment. I’ve been engaged twice, and married once. Between experiencing the death of my first fiancée and the divorce from the second, I can say with authority that the pain of lost love can be highly discouraging (to say the least). Yet I also recognize that these experiences are just that: experiences. And when we move forward from them we understand that experiences are ever changing. Everything is in flow. Nothing remains the same. The questions I ask myself in such situations include: Do I want to avoid loving relationships because we can’t control the actions of others, so why bother putting my trust in them? Do I want to avoid loving relationships because the promise of human life is death, so why bother putting my trust in someone who’s just going to eventually die? Or do I choose instead to recognize that everything is in flow, and that the next potential partner has nothing to do with the people from my past? Final Thoughts Many are inspired, yet few are motivated. I see this as a call for encouragement because what the world needs is for people to become truly alive by sharing their passions with the world. If the bug of inspiration has ever bitten you, then you know how wonderful it can be. My question for you is what are doing about it? What first steps have you taken? What skills or knowledge do you need pick up along the way to go the distance? Whatever your ambition, if it’s something that will make your heart sing and bring more enjoyment to the world, then I encourage you to move forward with it. Also, I love hearing about the challenges, goals, and obstacles that others are facing, so be sure to reach out and share your story along the way! Jonas Cain is an author, corporate magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for professionals looking to advance in their work and life. His positivity books are currently available from Amazon.com and PositivityMagic.com. If you or your organization or corporation is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then contact Jonas directly at jonas@positivitymagic.com to start the conversation and schedule a complimentary consultation.
 A Lesson From Grief It was night when I arrived, but even in the darkness I recognized the house—as if I had been there before. I knew I was in the right place when I caught a glimpse of Stephanie and a couple other folks coming out of the house. I didn’t want her to see me just yet—in case there was a reason she had stayed away for eleven years—so I hid inside a nearby van, crouching down in the backseat. Of course, with my luck, Stephanie and her friends got into the van too! Thankfully they stayed up front and didn’t see me in the back. I could clearly hear what they were talking about. They were talking about me! Stephanie told her friends that she loves me, and that she knows how much I loved her, but she’s surprised I didn’t come looking for her when she left. Hearing this, I decided it was time to speak up. “They told me you were dead.” Everyone was startled when they heard my voice, but when Stephanie turned and saw me she smiled the smile I’d always remembered. “They even had a body to show me at your funeral!” “That’s not how it works,” she said. “Yeah, it was my body, but it wasn’t me. I just went somewhere else. I’m still around; there’s lots of work to do here.” “I’m happy to know you’re still around,” I said. Then I leaned in. She leaned in too. Then for the first time in eleven years our lips embraced. Everything came back! All at once! The sensation was such a shock to my Being that I instantly woke up. It was still early so I turned over and tried to fall back asleep to be with Stephanie again. It had been a long and fast eleven years, and even though it was just a dream I wanted to live in the fantasy again, even if only for a little while. But I couldn’t sleep, because I didn’t really want it. Now that I’m awake (now that my eyes and heart are opened) they won’t be shut. Knowing what I now know (knowing again, remembering what I knew, re-cognizing the Truth) I don’t want to fall asleep again. We have lots of work to do, work that we couldn’t do before. Lessons From Grief I don’t talk much anymore about my experience with grief in the years following Stephanie’s sudden and unexpected death just a week after we became engaged to be married. This is partially because I’ve talked and written and thought and lived it enough that I’m ready for a new story, but certainly it’s also because the pain is now gone. To be sure, I still think about her every day—not a day goes by that the thought of her doesn’t cross my mind—yet time has been a good medicine. What also helped the healing process was an important question that began ruminating in my mind about eight years ago. What if the roles were reversed? What if I had died instead? What would she say about me? What would anyone say about me? This lead to a similar yet profoundly different question: What if I died today? What legacy would my actions while I was here leave behind? In the early years since Stephanie’s passing I didn’t handle grief very well. I had become a person that I didn’t recognize, doing things that my former self would never have dreamed of doing. But this question of legacy began reframing my attitude and approach towards life, and this new approach forced me to take a critical look at my actions. Thomas J. Watson, IBM’s first CEO (and the namesake of the company’s question and answer machine) once said:
Put another way: Can we do the right thing even when doing the wrong thing would far easier? What’s Your Legacy? If we could spend a day together to talk about your passions—your natural talents, learned skills, and causes that stir your spirit—with only one day we’d only be able to scratch the surface of what it can take to develop and foster our capacity for self-leadership. It’s for this reason that I suggest here just one big idea, because keeping this one idea in mind as we grow through life will enable us to make the really tough decisions when they come, while at the same time making the rest of life simply more enjoyable. The big idea is this: At the end of your life people will summarize your life in one sentence. Pick it now. Choose the legacy you want to leave others and then live today and every day in such a way that your influence continues to positively impact others even long after you’re gone. One of my mentor’s, John C. Maxwell, puts it another way. He asks:
Answering this question gives clarity and vision not only with our day-to-day decision-making, but also with our legacy, which decides our legacy for us, because deciding on the bridge that we build is a decision that’s fully within our control. We may not get to pick when or how we’re going to die, but we do get to choose how we live. So, how about it? What do you want your legacy to be? Why is this important to you? If you don’t know what you want your legacy to be, then perhaps a good question to get you started is this: What will your legacy be if you died today? If you don’t like the answer to this pointed question, what will it take to change that? Final Thoughts As we grow through life our thoughts about our legacy will often change, continually refining and becoming ever clearer as we move forward. Whatever you decide, as you continue to move forward I encourage you to keep this question in mind:
As for me, I'm going to continue leaning in. Jonas Cain is an author, corporate magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for professionals looking to advance in their work and life. His positivity books are currently available from Amazon.com and PositivityMagic.com. If you or your organization or corporation is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then contact Jonas directly at jonas@positivitymagic.com to start the conversation and schedule a complimentary consultation.
 One of my favorite moments as a magician happened during the spring of 2009. I was contracted to tour all the senior centers in Springfield, MA with my magic act and when I showed up to one of the locations one afternoon I was met with a most unfortunate circumstance. Everyone was playing bingo. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a performer it’s that no one wants to be interrupted from what they’re doing to watch a magic show. Especially senior citizens playing bingo! After explaining that I had been asked to present that day a woman in the back of the room gave me a stern stare and a scowl. Her only question was, “How long is your show going to take?” “It depends,” I replied. “If everyone is enjoying themselves and participating then the show can go as long as an hour, but if there’s not as much participation then it will probably be over in about 40 minutes or so.” Her response wasn’t very reassuring: “It will be a short show.” Regardless of the circumstances and the criticism, I boldly stepped forward and performed giving everyone my best effort. To be sure, there were a number of folks there that were interested in my presentation and I quickly aligned myself with those allies, but I kept a close eye on that woman in the back. It was about halfway through the performance that I noticed her expression begin to change. Where once there was a scowl there appeared a smile, and where once there was scorn there was now laughter. By the end of the show this same woman who had wanted nothing to do with me actually willingly volunteered to participate with one of the demonstrations! As I was making my rounds after the show thanking everyone for having me, the woman pulled me aside and paid me a compliment that to this day I don’t think has ever been beaten. She said, “Jonas, I don’t like magicians, but I like you!”
Every time I walk out on stage in a theatre, or ballroom, or up to the front of a conference room, I’m walking into a situation where I have to work with people that I’ve never met, and yet I still have to arrive at a positive outcome. Perhaps the best encouragement I’ve found in this regard comes from the words attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt: “The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” In other words, I could be the greatest magician in the world technically, but if I haven’t learned how to demonstrate genuine care and mutual respect for others then no one’s going to care one way or another whether I can find their playing card! The real secret to magic, and the real challenge of team, organization, family, or community, is learning how to make meaningful connections so we can work with one another positively and effectively. This is challenging for many, however, because so many of us simply don’t give any thought to increasing our capacity for making meaningful connections, either because we don’t think of it as a skill that can be honed, or because we don’t think of it as important. And because so many of us simply don’t think of it, it stays off of our radar, unaware that we could be achieving so much more if only we put in the effort in this area. Shift In Focus If you’re interested in achieving more and would like to learn to connect more effectively and meaningfully with others, then a good place to start is by making a shift in your focus. Communication tends to be about you—it's about what you have to say and how you say it. Connecting, on the other hand, is about others—it’s about relating to others on common ground where beliefs, values, and goals intersect. This should be an easy task for folks who work for the same organization, are in the same department, are members of the same family, and so forth—seeing as they have an obvious common connector—but trouble can arise when disagreements in direction, values, and ethics come up. To overcome such issues, here are three simple steps that you can use to increase your capacity for connecting with others: Be Likeable There is a fine line between seeking likability to achieve a worthy cause and seeking likability to feed “approval addiction,” but with the right intentions likeability can be a powerful tool for connecting with others. Being likeable in this context means demonstrating genuine care and respect for others. This is perhaps the most influential factor in working with others. Simply put, if people like you they will listen to you, and if they don’t then they won’t. The woman I mentioned at the beginning of this article wanted nothing to do with me until I was able to make myself likeable, and once I was able to do that it created the opportunity for a positive experience. How do we demonstrate care and respect to foster likeability? One way is by asking questions. Ask Questions Asking people questions is not only a great way to get to know them—and therefore enabling you to better identify common ground—but it also communicates that you are genuinely interested in them. This involves honestly listening to the answers you receive and it also involves asking some self-reflection questions. Do you feel what they feel? Do you see what they see? Do you know what they know? Do you want what they want? Asking questions of this quality puts you in the mindset of seeking to serve rather than to be served. Once we have the answers to our questions we can put them to use with humility. Be Humble Humility is often associated with weakness, however it’s more correctly viewed as a strength for those confident in their abilities. This view of humility is inspired by the British poet and journalist Alan Ross who suggests that humility means knowing and using our strengths for the benefit of others on behalf of a higher purpose. In all of my magic performances the emphasis is never on me; rather, it’s always on my audience. In fact, there are many segments in my act that are designed to empower the audience to allow them to make the magic happen! Humble leaders don’t think less of themselves; rather, they simply choose instead to consider the needs of others in fulfilling a worthy cause. When we make others look good by facilitating opportunities for their best selves to shine, not only do we become much more likable, but we also gain friends and influence. This is the real secret of magic! Final Thoughts By choosing to be likeable, interested, and humble, we’ll position ourselves to find the common ground needed to establish connections with others. Using this as a starting point, we can then apply the 101% Principle, which suggests that we find the 1% that we have in common, then give that our 100% effort. When we do, the results will be magical! Jonas Cain is an author, corporate magician, Facilitator of Fascination, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His company provides engaging keynote presentations for conferences; empowering team-building workshops for monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings; and encouraging one-on-one coaching sessions for professionals looking to advance in their work and life. His positivity books are currently available from Amazon.com and PositivityMagic.com. If you or your organization or corporation is looking to experience greater enjoyment and excellence at work, home, and beyond, then contact Jonas directly at jonas@positivitymagic.com to start the conversation and schedule a complimentary consultation.
 When I was fourteen years old I was invited to perform a magic act at my high school talent show. This was my first opportunity to perform in front of the entire school and I was eager to impress them, so I created a magic demonstration that was sure to fit the bill. It was my greatest creation up until that point, a piece I menacingly entitled: Acid Roulette. Imagine the scene: Five test tubes each filled with water except for one, which instead contained hydrochloric acid. Colorless and odorless, the acid looked and smelled just like water—but was sure to not taste like water. The idea was I’d be blindfolded as a member of the audience mixed up the test tubes, and then I would blindly drink from each of them leaving only the test tube with the acid untouched. That was the idea. (The ridiculous, absurd idea!
During the ensuing hospital stay I had plenty of time to reflect on where I went wrong. Even though I had practiced the stunt, in rehearsal I didn’t actually use real acid (after all, why practice something that you can only afford to fail once?) So in rehearsal I instead used seltzer, and it worked fine—most of the time. Sometimes I did drank the seltzer by mistake. But as the night of the talent show got closer and closer I was running out of time and was relying on this stunt to be the big closure of my act, so I decided that it just needed to work, so I just put on “positive attitude” about the whole thing and went for it. Unfortunately this “positive attitude” ignored the reality of my circumstances—it ignored the fact that it was not a good idea! While few people have actually attempted such an absurd stunt, as fallible beings we at times often approach our work in a similar way—with a woeful lack of preparation! We all have dreams and goals, but even when we make the best-made plans with the best intentions that alone doesn’t ensure success. Despite our efforts not everything is in our control, so what do we do? Do we just hope and pray (like I did with the acid incident)? Do we give up at the first sign of adversity? Or do we perhaps not even try at all for fear of looking like a fool or a failure (or both!)?
STRATEGY Like any good magic trick, the question becomes: “How is this possible?!” How is it possible to have a positive outcome even when circumstances don’t align with our plans? One of the strategies that magicians use to manage results is what we call “practicing our mistakes.” It sounds counterintuitive, right? After all, by definition mistakes are things that shouldn’t happen, so why focus any attention and energy on getting better at doing the very things that we don’t want to have happen? Diving deeper into this same line of thinking, however, gives us the answer. Magic coaches tell us that we should analyze every possible way that something could go wrong, and then practice our magic tricks as if we’ve made those mistakes. By practicing our mistakes before we've even made them, when things do eventually go wrong we already know what to do to have a successful outcome because we’ve already thought about it—we’ve already practiced it and are experts at making those mistakes work to our advantage. APPLICATION One of my mentors once recounted the time a flight he was on had a difficult landing: just as the plane touched down a sudden wind jolted the plane crooked and the pilot immediately brought the plane back up into the air to circle back again for a safer landing. My friend was amazed at the pilot’s quick action and as he departed the plane he stopped to thank him for getting everyone down safely, then asked how he had made such a quick decision. The pilot responded that he had already made that decision twenty years earlier. As a young pilot he had thought about all the things that could go wrong and decided that when anything should go wrong with a landing he should immediately get the plane back into the air. The success of that challenging landing was decided years earlier because the pilot had already analyzed what could go wrong and rehearsed every best response in his mind
Jonas Cain is an author, comedy magician, and Facilitator of Fascination who helps corporations and individuals develop and foster positivity to turn adversities into possibilities. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
Get a free abridged copy of Jonas’ latest book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.? here.  We all have an idea, a dream, or a goal that we’d like to accomplish, but for many these ideas, dreams, and goals remain visionless thoughts never to see the light of day. The reason for this is explained by Martin Luther King Jr.:
In other words, a dreamer who’s become a visionary is one who comes down from the clouds, identifies the details to make the dream a reality, and is able to articulate the dream in tandem with the details so that other can see the clear pathway for success. And therein lies the keyword: clear. To turn an idea into reality we need clarity. In July of 2017 I climbed Mount Washington for the first time and as I approached the final stretch to the summit I became enveloped in clouds. This became a safety concern because I was relying on the queue of cairns to guide me to the top! Whenever I stumbled upon each marker I was unable to see the next one, leaving me to guess and hope I was headed in the right direction rather than over the side of the mountain. But there were random and fleeting moments of amazing clarity that let me know I was on the right path:
This experience reminded me of the song popularized by Johnny Nash, a song that highlights the beauty of clarity:
Clarity is the magic ingredient that can turn a mere dream into a vision and vision into reality. Yet, without clarity, we find ourselves irritable and dissatisfied, clouding our mind from seeing what is right in front of us. So the question becomes, how do we develop more clarity? Or perhaps a better question, what causes a lack of clarity? If we know and understand what cause a lack of clarity, and then we work to eliminate those causes, then we won’t have to seek clarity; rather, it will come and find us all on it's own! I believe a major cause of a lack of clarity is disorganization.
In other words, when we aren't clear on our values, when we have "backwards" responsibilities, and when we don't take moments of self-reflection we will forever stay "lost in the clouds." GET ORGANIZED To gain more clarity we can begin by organizing our lives in three ways:
FINAL THOUGHTS If we follow through with these three simple items, Values, Responsibilities & Habits, we’ll declutter our lives to see all the obstacles in our way so we can gain a clear path to the mountaintop of our success! Jonas Cain is an author, comedy magician, and Facilitator of Fascination who helps corporations and individuals develop and foster positivity to turn adversities into possibilities. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
Get a free abridged copy of Jonas’ latest book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.? here.  Are You Positive? In my latest book I profile a list twenty different ways that people can exhibit negativity in their everyday lives. Two of the most common are The Complainers and The Naysayers. Nothing is ever good enough for The Complainer, and whenever The Naysayer finds a window of opportunity opened they quickly draw the curtains! These toxic individuals—whether they’re conscious of it or not—are only looking for problems and excuses. To avoid the trap of falling into these behaviors yourself here's a simple and fun strategy: The Glad Game The Glad Game is an idea introduced by the author Eleanor H. Porter in her 1913 book Pollyanna. Here’s how you can apply this game to your life:
This notion of finding the good in everything is what philosophers call happiness resilience, a phenomenon that returns us to a sense of normalcy even after a distressing situation. You can see a biological example of this at play when you consider what happens when you swim in a cool pool of water. At first the cold temperature comes as a shock to your body, yet over a relatively short period of time your body gradually adapts to the water. The goal of The Glad Game strategy is to help you let go of expectations and see the good that every moment can bring if only you are open to it. Final Thoughts It's not always easy to stay positive, especially when the unexpected happens, but by remembering that this is a daily practice rather than a one-and-done solution you can keep your expectations in perspective as you strive to focus on the things to be glad about. What are YOU focusing on? Jonas Cain is an author, comedy magician, and Facilitator of Fascination who helps corporations and individuals develop and foster positivity to turn adversities into possibilities. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
Get a free abridged copy of Jonas’ latest book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.? here.  Whenever my clients come to me for positivity training the first thing I ask them is where they are focusing their energy. We all have a desire to move forward confidently with our grand plans, but when we take an honest look at where we’ve been focusing our energy we often find that we’ve been missing the mark because we are simply focusing on the wrong things. Check Your Focus The good news is you can check to see where your focus is right now! In the picture below I’ve hidden the following "positive" words: Engage, Empower, Encourage, Enjoyment, Excellence, Clarity, Confidence, Courage, Kindness, Empathy Take a moment or two now to see how many you can find.  Did you find any? Don’t continue unless you found at least a couple positive words. Okay, I believe you. Depending on how closely you worked on this exercise perhaps you noticed that there are more words hidden in this puzzle than just the ones listed. The words hidden in this puzzle fall under two categories: “Positive” and “Negative.” In fact, there is an equal number of positive words as negative words—26 in all—but if you did as I suggested then chances are you found more positive words than negative words. The reason for this is that you were focused on looking for the positive rather than the negative. We Tend To Get What We Look For We get what we focus on and we will see what we are looking for. This idea is similar to what scientists call a confirmation bias, a tendency to interpret information according to our preexisting worldview—in this case the preconditioned desire to find what we are looking for. The very act of deciding to look for something makes the object of our desire more visible, like a yellow highlighter on a page screaming to be noticed. Falling into extreme cases of confirmation bias can create problems (e.g. when we give unfounded meaning to the random and meaningless), however we can also use confirmation bias in healthy ways that develop and foster positivity. This can be especially helpful for those who are not naturally positive, or for those who have been “down in the dumps” lately. Final Thoughts It's not always easy to stay positive, especially when the unexpected happens, but by remembering that this is a daily practice rather than a one-and-done solution you can keep your expectations in perspective as you strive to focus on the things to be glad about. What are YOU focusing on? Jonas Cain is an author, comedy magician, and Facilitator of Fascination who helps corporations and individuals develop and foster positivity to turn adversities into possibilities. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
Get a free abridged copy of Jonas’ latest book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.? here.  Scientists estimate that it took 17 million of years for the Grand Canyon to become the wonder that we know it as today. 17 million years! Can you imagine that?! It took 17 million years for this “Wonder of the World” to be endowed with the title “Grand.” Such a large number is, for me, inspiring, because it allows me to go much easier on myself when I don’t right away get the “grand” outcomes that I’m looking for. How can I expect to do anything “grand” without putting in “grand” time? I’m encouraged too, by seeing the pain that the canyon experienced over the years by the constant erosion caused by the Colorado River. If not for the persistent flow of activity by the River, the Canyon not only would not be Grand, but it also would not exist. All of this tells me that Grand things take Grand time, and that if we persist it promises to be painful, as pieces of us that no longer serve us are taken away during the flow of the process. This letting go can be difficult; it’s far easier in the short-term to keep things as they are, but life constantly reminds us that in order to have what we have never had we must do what we have never done, which requires a sacrifice, a giving up of what no longer serves us. For the Grand Canyon, this giving up is of rock and sediment; for you and me, maybe it’s old thought patterns. Maybe it’s old habits that are keeping us down; or well-meaning friends, family, or colleagues that are discouraging us from growing, keeping us from operating on a higher level. Maybe it’s an old dream, or maybe it’s our current job that’s holding us back. The feeling of comfort, security, and stability is perhaps the greatest poison for innovation; for the comfortable person has no reason to seek anything more, to seek anything greater for his or her life. Leaving the security of the known for the unknown is simultaneously the scariest notion and the beginning of a fantastic adventure story. No story worth hearing ever began with “Once upon a time the world was safe, and nothing terrible happened…the end.” If that’s your story, and you’re happy with it, good for you. As for me, and as for those who are no longer content with being “good” but rather wish to become Grand, we’re hungry for something more. We’re not comfortable being comfortable anymore. And to leave that comfort requires giving up what no longer serves us. We’re operating from a different level now. The good news is that we don’t have to go it alone. The Grand Canyon would not exist if not for the relationship that it fostered with the Colorado River 17 million years ago. This tells us that our own greatness will not exist without building important and meaningful relationships. It is said that as leaders we should seek not to be a reservoir, but rather a river, allowing the benefits of our accumulated knowledge, skills, and experience, to flow through us, rather than stay with us. I like this metaphor because it encourages us to build relationships much like the Colorado River. If we show people the way to greatness, they will want to follow us. But first it requires a connection. Jonas Cain is an author, comedy magician, and Facilitator of Fascination who helps corporations and individuals develop and foster positivity to turn adversities into possibilities. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
Get a free abridged copy of Jonas’ latest book Are You P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.? here.  Eugene Burger 1939 — 2017 Ever since I was a young boy I was serious about magic, but it wasn’t until my teenage years that I started to take it seriously. You see, while I was always serious about my passion for performing magic, it wasn’t until I began watching documentaries on magic that I began to earn a deeper respect for what magic is and what performance magic is capable of. And it turns out it’s capable of so much more than a few tricks and some cheap laughs. One magician that I especially looked up to during this time, and for whom I was in awe of, was Eugene Burger. With his deep soothing voice and long flowing beard, he not only looked like a magician but he sounded like one too. And that was before he even did any magic! When he did do magic it was amazing. I could never quite figure out how he got that card to turn inside out and outside in, or how he got that burnt string back together. But what was perhaps most intriguing was that I didn’t care to learn how he did those things, because I was too interested in the stories that he would tell while doing them. He planted the seed for me that magic could do more than baffle; it could also tell a story, and if it was told well and performed with just the right piece of magic, it had the potential to transform lives. That, to me, was real magic, and thinking about these things kept me occupied throughout high school and my transition into adulthood. I remember the first time I saw Eugene in real life outside of the television screen. I was at the 2008 World Magic Seminar in Las Vegas attending one of the opening evening galas and was standing in line at the cash bar. There in front of me, leaning on the bar, was Eugene! I was star struck! But of course I had to play it cool so I quietly said hello, trying not to act too excited, and didn’t bother introducing myself. I’m just Jonas, after all. Throughout the seminar I’d see more of my magic hero, but I kept my distance. He was always surrounded by other magicians, and certainly they were more important than little old me. Yet he was always performing some piece of magic, sharing some little piece of insight. I enjoyed watching him from a distance. I don’t think it occurred me until then that he performed more than those two routines that I’ve seen him perform hundreds of times on those documentaries. Eugene served as Dean of the McBride Magic and Mystery School, and it was just a few months or so after the seminar that I signed up for my first class at the Mystery School. I was excited to take part in the course and learn from the faculty, but I was perhaps most excited for the opportunity to finally work closely with my hero. It was not to be, however, because the week that I attended classes Eugene was “on sabbatical.” Well, he was actually most likely performing somewhere. Though I had missed another chance to learn from the Master, I still gained a lot of new knowledge and skills at Mystery School. It would be another six years before I had my next opportunity. In early 2014 I was at Diamonds Magic in Peabody, Massachusetts, and was told that Eugene Burger would be coming in to teach a workshop. I was so excited that I quite literally took the bill from out of the thumb tip to attend. It was by far the best several hours I had ever spent thinking and talking and learning magic. I still have the notebook filled with the copious notes that I took that evening. When I got home that night, inspiration struck. I would soon be visiting Chicago, Eugene's hometown, on business. I thought, “Why not? What do I have to lose?” So I emailed his “magicalbeard” email to reintroduce myself and remind him of how we met recently, and to let him know that I’d soon be in his neighborhood. Then I asked if we could get together while I was in the area. It was by far one of the biggest thrills of my life when I found myself sitting in his Chicago apartment, with Eugene performing a card trick for ME! It turns out destiny does have a name...and it’s JONAS! I still have that card framed in my studio as one of my most prized possessions. It serves as a reminder of the night I spent in Chicago with my hero, hanging out with HIS magic friends! But it also serves as a reminder that there’s no reason to ever hesitate to seize an opportunity to learn from a mentor. Now is truly the best time to seize the opportunity, because you never know when you’ll get your last chance. And perhaps the greatest reminder of all: it never hurts to ask for what you want., because when you do, the results can be Magical. In 2016 I attended the Magic and Meaning Conference in Las Vegas for the first time, an event hosted by the Magic and Mystery School. This is a special gathering of magicians in an intimate setting and was truly truly a powerful experience for me and my evolution as a magician. So much so that before the conference was over I already paid for the following year’s registration! One of my favorite activities at this event was a “book swap.” Everyone was encouraged to bring a book that held a special significance for them, with the intent of gifting the book to someone else at the conference. At the appointed time we’d all take turns pairing up and looking at each others books, and then after doing that a few times we’d be told finally that whoever we were with would be the one we’d swap books with. Think of it as musical chairs for books. I brought The Art of Living by Epictetus, and during the book swap I was honored to see that Eugene was “lingering” closely to me because, as he put it, he wanted my book! Unfortunately for him we weren’t paired up at the end. However, as a special thank you for his inspiration over the years, when I returned home after the seminar I sent Eugene a copy of Epictetus’ book. I recently learned that Eugene had released an audio program entitled Growing in the Art of Magic. I liked that idea; it’s kind of like having the Master available 24/7! Once again, cost was no option, as this was clearly a “must-have.” While I was at it, I decided to purchase instruction to his Destiny Has A Name even if only as an exercise in creating a tribute to my hero. Somehow I must have known, perhaps on a spiritual level, the news that was to come just a week later: the sudden death of the Living Legend who on August 8 joined the ranks of those Masters who have passed before us. The shock of his passing is profound, like “a vast cosmic sleep.” I know for sure, though, that his light will continue to shine “brighter than ten thousand suns.” Thank you, Eugene. You have been a most worthy guide. May you rest in Peace… Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 Seeing Masters of their craft at work is always an inspiration. They provide us with encouragement to seek new opportunities in our own field, and to never settle for "good enough" for too long when "better," "best," and "Great" are just around the corner, over the horizon, and on the next mountain. I have had the privilege of seeing The Amazing Jonathan work his craft a number of times, and it is always a Joy. This past weekend at Foxwoods was no different. His opening act was a comedian who decided when he was 12 years old that he wanted to pursue comedy, after sitting in the audience of one of The Amazing Jonathan's performances. Beyond deciding, he took ACTION. He sought the guidance of mentors, worthy guides who could show him the way. The most important mentor has been and continues to be the same comedian who inspired him to pursue that path all those years ago. May we all continue to be inspired by such Masters. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 Christmas with family is always magical, but this year proved even more magical than expected. Late in the evening, as most of the family had already gone home, I lingered at my brother Steven’s home, enjoying some extra company. My nephew Jesse came into the living room where Steven and I were talking and brought with him a toy he had found in his Advent calendar. It was the notorious cup and ball on string. Notorious, because of the inevitable frustration everyone gets when they can’t get the ball into the cup. He played with it for a few moments then handed it to me to try. It’s been a long time since I’ve even picked up such toys, because of the frivolity of the activity, and the inevitable frustration it entices. But in the spirit of Christmas and togetherness, I humored the moment and gave it a try. After several attempts I admitted to everyone, “I’ve never successfully done this before.” And lo! Just as I spoke those words, the ball fell squarely into the cup! I couldn’t believe it! I had never done that before! Jesse then took back the toy to try himself, but to no success. That is, until he got the idea that the magic words are: “I’ve never successfully done this before.” And magically, just as he said those words, the ball again fell squarely into the cup! Excitedly, Jesse handed the toy off to his mother, Dana. She tried for a few moments without luck, and without trying the magic words. Jesse told her that she had to say the magic words for it to work, but his mother didn’t want to say them because as she explained, she had successfully done it before. I suggested that she revise the words to say: “I haven’t successfully done this in a while.” Sure enough, when she facetiously said those words the ball fell squarely into the cup! The four of us could not believe the amazing luck! It was lastly my brother’s turn to try his hand at it, but without saying the magic words. Perhaps he, like many, didn’t see the connection between the words and the results. But after hitting himself in the head with the ball a few times he too relented and said those magic words: “I’ve never successfully done this before.” The four of us agreed that it was a Christmas Miracle when the ball fell squarely into his cup too. This once-in-a-lifetime, you-had-to-be-there moment was a beautiful bonding experience for us, and it got me to thinking about its greater meaning. I had long given up toying with such an activity, deeming it frivolous simply because I was incapable of doing it, because I lacked the skill. And because I lacked the skill I labeled it senseless child’s play, something below myself. Yet, there the four of us sat in awe as we each, one at a time, succeeded at what was once deemed silly and impossible. It got me to wondering what else have I given up on and deemed silly and below my station, simply because I lacked the discipline and patience to give it an honest effort. Surely, mastering the cup and ball on string is of little consequence, but it serves as a healthy reminder that “whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” Today I suggest that if you find yourself struggling with a small matter, just give it a little more time, and maybe even try some Magic Words. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 Dead Goose Lake at Canoe Bay During my recent trip to Wisconsin I stayed in a cabin by a lake. On the morning of the last day of the trip I decided to jump into the water for a swim. There was a floating dock in the lake and I desired to swim to it. But I hesitated. I was alone, and thought that if something should happen to me, such as an unexpected medical emergency, that I'd drown and no one would know it until staff noticed that I hadn't checked out yet, and all my things were still locked inside the cabin, my rental car was still parked outside, and that I was no where to be found but for my t-shirt and flip-flops on the shore of the lake. A dead body is bad for business, so I opted to content myself with sitting on the shore. It was there that the lake taught me a lesson. I have become much more adventurous as of late, though at the same time I have also become more cautious. A younger me would have swum out to the floating dock had I desired to do so, yet my younger self would not have had such a desire. To be sure, my caution is not out of fear, as evidenced by the fact that just the other day I jumped out of an airplane. Rather it is a matter of preparation. If someone was with me at the lake I would have surely made the swim to the floating dock. What i lacked was the safety of another person. Just as when I jumped out of the airplane. I did not jump out of the plane alone. Rather, I jumped with the security of a person who had made that same jump thousands of times before. It was in this notion that the lake held its lesson for me. Having recently graduated from college, I am currently in a period of transition. This is a time of serious reflection as I consider how best to use my newly gained skills in tandem with my natural talents and passions. Informed by the impending reality of student loan payments, I have been leaning on the side of responsible practicality in terms of a career move, but the lake has another idea. What is it that I want to do, but am instead sitting on the shore of? What would I do if had a worthy guide who had gone before me in the direction of my dreams? I have answered this question for myself, and in so doing have been assigned the homework of finding that guide. There is much work to be done, and I look forward to it with anticipation and excitement. My hope for you is that if you have found yourself for too long on the shore of your dreams that you will consider the Wisdom of The Lake. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 1944 — 2016 When I was a little boy I idolized my eldest brother. Being fifteen years older than me, I rarely saw him, but I knew that he was the coolest guy around. I often only saw him at the annual Christmas Eve get together at my Grandmother’s house. He’d come in wearing his leather jacket, with guitar. His gift to me was always a CD of music that he thought I should listen to. And every now and again it would be a CD of a recording he had done with his band: Ed Vadas and the Fabulous Heavy Weights. For years he toured the east coast playing bass with that blues band, and I always looked forward to hearing his latest stories from the road. I remember one summer in particular they had a standing gig at a local country club and dad would the family to see them play. It was there that I first met Ed Vadas. I was nervous meeting him, though. I had heard that he didn’t like sax players. And I’m a sax player. What I saw at his performances was a master at work. With guitar strung over his shoulder and harmonicas armed to his strap like ammo on a soldier, he ‘d put his hand on the guitar and blues would pour from it as easily as the sweat from his forehead in the summer heat. Everything he did was a performance. His rolling lyrics, his banter between songs; he even found a way to make a broken string mid-play a lesson in music making. I loved watching my brother play with Ed. He was already cool, but being in Ed’s band confirmed what I already knew. During one visit to the country club I summoned the nerve to talk to Ed. I asked him why he didn’t like sax players. Imagine that; I must have been no more than thirteen years old, talking with this living legend, asking what his beef was with people of my kind. In his own colorful way that only Ed could, he told me, which I will paraphrase: “Those sax players, they think they only have to play when they solo!” I took that advice to heart. With every band I have ever played with, a ska band, a wannabe blues/rock band, a folk rock group, a jazz trio, an experimental electronica ensemble, a jazz troupe, a Dave Matthews cover band, another Dave Matthews cover band, another jazz trio, a jam band, and an all original pop group, I have kept Ed Vadas’ words in mind. The thrill of my life came on brother’s surprise fortieth birthday. Ed was there with a bunch of other musicians to play the party. I happened to have my sax with me, and for the first time in my life I got to play with Ed Vadas. I was so nervous! I had to put a few drinks in in me first, but I played my heart out. When the night was done I was anxious to hear Ed’s response. His only words were: “You need a metal mouthpiece.” I took that as a positive sign that he approved of my playing (even when I wasn’t soloing). It was one of the best compliments I had ever received from anyone. I got word this week that Ed passed away on February 18, after a long battle with an illness. My heart sank. I hadn’t seen him in years. And to know that the world lost such a soul, I’m sad for those who never got to meet him. But his spirit touches everyone. He’s gone but not forgotten. Yes, the very words from one of his most iconic songs came to mind. Gone But Not Forgotten. I hadn’t listened to that album in years, but that’s all I’ve wanted to listen to all week. So much has happened to me since I last listened to this music. I’ve changed so much. And listening to it again on the other side of so much change allowed me to hear it from a new perspective. It was like watching a movie you hadn’t seen since childhood, and you catch things that you never saw before. Listening again, I can easily see how it has influenced my playing over the years. Though I spent much of my time playing other genres, my favorite to play has always the blues. You can hear it in my playing, as I favor the pentatonic scale for much of my work, even when it’s uncalled for. Adding that “blue not” is also a favorite of mine. I listened the whole album several times this week, but it was track four that I was mostly interested in. Gone But Not Forgotten. It was like he was singing his own eulogy. Structurally, the song departs from the standard 12 bar blues, with it’s catchy chorus and poignant verses, multiple back-up voices and handclaps, it at times feels like a gospel song. Track five also deserves repeating when it comes around. Waiting On Sunrise. His soulful lyrics contrast with the soft-spoken words in response, like hearing a man talk to himself or hearing his thoughts. “If my life’s a whiskey bottle, my heart be a broken glass….(I looked in the mirror today and saw why you left).” That’s how I spent my week. Hanging out with Ed Vadas. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 Dad and me. One day, while I was still in high school, my dad cut off his beard. He had always had a long beard, but all of a sudden I could see his face. He picked me up from school that day and I told him he looked ridiculous. That wasn't the response he was looking for. I felt bad because I think it may have hurt his feelings, and except for the time I was playing with my Sesame Street toys on the floor by the bathroom in the trailer when I was four or five or so, I don't think I had ever hurt his feelings before. You see, I wanted to play with my big brother Justin, but Justin didn't want to play, so my dad sat down to play with me. But I said no. I wanted Justin. He quickly yelled 'fine' and got up and left. I felt bad because I had made him sad. Looking back now He probably wasn't upset that I didn't want to play with him, but rather that I wouldn't stop complaining and I was getting on his nerves. At least that's how I would feel if a kid was being a complainer. I don't blame him, of course. Who has time for complainers? My dad was one of my biggest supporters growing up. If I wanted to do something, he made it happen. If I needed to go somewhere, he would go with me and stay with me along the way. We'd spend every Saturday at that magic store from open to close. If I needed something made, he would make it with me. And even though I hated tinkering, fixing and making things, I would do it joyfully because I got to do it with him. As far as personality, He and I were worlds apart from each other, yet as different as we were, we were still just the same. He never talked to me about it, but I think it bothered him when I changed my name from Toutant to Cain. I didn't do it because of anything he or my family did. It was just something I had to do, because of what life did to me. Something I had to do to be right with myself. Toutant blood runs through my veins, though, and I remember that always. I never got to explain it properly to him. But he understands now. He understands everything now. I don't miss him, because now he is with us always. I don't cry that he's gone. I cry that he lived. A life so full. So full. So full of life, so full of Love. So full of care. So full of whatever the Heaven he wanted. He didn't come to this life to be anything other than himself. And he was comfortable with who he was. Of all the things he taught me, it was to be myself, and to be happy with who that was. To accept nothing less. As different as we are, we're still the same. Oh so the same. And I am so glad that I got to have him as my dad. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.  John T. Reddy Jr. is a fighter. In fact, they made a movie about him starring Mark Wahlberg. They begged John T. Reddy Jr. to be in the sequel, but they haven’t made it yet. Even though he’s a fighter, John T. Reddy Jr. doesn’t want to fight; he might mess up his wrist and knee again. You see, he lived in LA for eight months in 2008, and had to come back home to Salem when he broke his knee and wrist. He didn’t say just how he hurt himself, but I presume it was from fighting. After all, they did make a movie about him. “Don’t think that I’m excluded exactly. Write that down.” John T. Reddy Jr. was referring to his friend Shawn who works for the New England Patriots. Shawn installs sprinklers on the field at Gillette Stadium. That must be how they keep the synthetic turf so fresh. Shawn is a multi-millionaire and owns two mansions. Thank Heavens John T. Reddy Jr. isn’t excluded exactly. He might be left with nowhere to go tonight. “I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been drinking. Want a sip?” I decline. His lawyer has an office above O’Neil’s on Washington St., but the lawyer won’t touch the case against the television networks. After all, he knows nothing of entertainment law. John T. Reddy Jr. has been building a case for years against the networks and he has his evidence in the envelope that he keeps in his pocket. He created such television shows as “Pawn Stars”, “The Revenge”, Deception”, and “Operation Repo”. But they haven’t paid John T Reddy Jr. a dime. “Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that?” He keeps looking over his shoulder. “I’m scared. I think they’re coming after me next.” His father, John T. Reddy Sr., passed away just last week when his stomach, liver and kidney all collapsed. “Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that? I just talked to him a couple weeks ago and asked him if he needed me to come down to Florida to be with him. Now he’s dead. Fifty-seven years old. Isn’t there something wrong with that?” He looked over his shoulder again. “I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet. And I’m the best friend you’ll ever have. I’m loyal. But my daughter’s my life. She’s seventeen so I don’t get to see her much. You remember what it’s like to be seventeen, right?” His daughter Tia is dating Justin Bieber. Bieber meet Tia when John T. Reddy Jr. was writing songs for Eminem. Apparently Bieber and Eminem our mutual Facebook friends with John T. Reddy Jr., and when Bieber saw pictures of Tia on there he simply had to meet her. Bieber offered to sell his iPhone to John T. Reddy Jr. for $100 when he saw him today, but John T. Reddy Jr. wouldn’t disclose where that was. Private information and all. Peter and Patricia join us on the park bench by the fountain. Patricia lights up a cigarette and Peter fishes something out of his plastic bag. “Do you want a beer?” I decline. “I’m sixty-one years old and I’ve never smoked a thing. Not once,” says Peter. “I just do this,” pointing to his can of beer that he needed help opening. John T. Reddy Jr. runs his hands along Patricia’s bare leg and says, “You’re shaving; looks good!” Patrician blushes. “Too bad,” Peter intervenes, “she’s mine!” “We need to go and catch the train,” Patricia scowls. Shaking their hands, I take the cue and begin to make my own leave when John T. Reddy Jr. takes my hand and rubs it on his face, sandpapering my hand with his stubbed whiskers. “I shave a lot,” he says. “I shaved two days ago and now a beard is coming in. This isn’t me.” John T. Reddy Jr. suddenly takes to his feet and shakes my hand, bidding his own farewell before quickly leaving the area just as the headlights of a police car rolls to a stop. It is night on Essex St. and people everywhere are about town with their own lives and their own stories, going about their business the only way that they know how. The man and his dog out for a stroll. The couple leaving the Village Tavern. The group still enjoying dinner and drinks on the outdoor patio. The woman and her young child hurrying by. Tom the Tour Guide just getting off his last tour of the night. And Peter and Patricia off to catch a train. Yes, people everywhere are lost in their worlds, unaware of the parallel universes that walk beside them. On my way home I ran into John T. Reddy Jr. again. He was upset, rummaging through his tattered envelope of court dockets and hand written notes, presumably with ideas for television shows. “Where’s the plaid paper? Don’t mess with me!” He asked me to help him look for it just as a bicyclist went by, and John T. Reddy Jr. flung obscenities with threats of violence at him. I reminded John T. Reddy Jr. not to risk hurting his wrist and knee again, and left the fighter to find the plaid paper on his own. As for me, I am never again going to look at an unfamiliar face the same way. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 A boy yells to be let into an apartment building, frustrated with attitude. A young woman barks at a young man, following him around the basketball court with threats of rage. Hula Hoopers Hula by the bandstand. No music is heard. Children play on the swings and elderly walk around the exterior as young adults run laps by them. Dogs sniff and a motorcycle makes its presence abundantly known. The bicyclist speeds by in short shorts and the young auburn head with red shoes listens to headphones as smoke emits from her mouth. A man yawns below a tree as Old Glory slumps atop the pole. The clouds move too slow, as if from a painting; and the sun sets a bit faster yet just as unnoticeable. It is evening at the Salem Common and no one cares but the singular sense of themselves. No one cares what’s happening around them; their senses don’t know the changes when they come. What was here is here and is still yet to come. There is only the self-absorption of a dog inside a house and someone on the porch. If trees could laugh they most surely would, though certainly not with us. We don’t yet know how to laugh with the trees. Keeping the old and in with the new, but there isn’t enough room for what God has in store for us. Will we be scarred when all that we know is taken away? Or will we be overJoyed by the abundance of Blessings that we find behind the next door? As for me, I want nothing to do with the barking on the court. My tail is already wagging in anticipation of our next treat. I wonder what it will be… Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 Two friends were sitting in a park. They sat in silence for several moments on this sunny afternoon when suddenly one friend turned to the other and said, “What are you thinking about?” The friend said calmly, “I am praying for all those with troubled minds, broken hearts and weary souls. Praying that they may be comforted and that their spirits be lifted.” The friend was astonished with this profound selfless thought and said, “I can never think of anything as nice as that.” The friend replied, “Such thoughts require but one skill, my friend; a skill that all human beings have.” “What is that?” the other asked. The friend simply replied, “Selfishness.” Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
 I forget where I first heard about this concept. It was probably a Dalia Lama idea from one of his books or perhaps I found it in a Carlos Castaneda book. At first I didn’t understand it. How can we do something that is a “not doing?” But just the other day the answer was revealed to me. I was substitute teaching at a local high school and as I was doing attendance a student noted my facial hair and said that he wished that he could grow a beard. I simply told him to do it then. But he said that it was difficult. I finished by saying that on the contrary, growing a beard is perhaps the easiest thing to do. One simply must not shave. It is the opposite of a doing. It is a not doing. It struck me then that giving up old habits and thought patterns and other aspects of my life that are no longer serving me by applying this “Art of not Doing.” Want to save money? Don’t spend money. Don’t want to do drugs? Don’t do drugs. Don’t want to drink? Then don’t drink. Don’t want to gratify yourself? Then just don’t do it. It is far easier to do nothing than it is to do a something. Therefore these afflictions that trouble me can no longer have control over me, for I have recognized the truth: The simplicity of the “Art of Not Doing.” Related to this concept if the “Art of Allowing,” such as Reiki work, or in theology the idea of “letting God be God.” There is nothing that needs to be done. In order to do a something like this we simply have to not interfere. We simply allow the flow to occur. It is far easier to allow something to happen than to try and stop a something from happening. If it is good to allow, allow. If it is good to not do, don’t do. In both cases there is nothing that needs to be done. We can simply sit back and observe, or witness, this marvelous life, comforted to know that we are doing our very best by doing nothing and allowing life to unfold as it should. Jonas Cain is a corporate trainer, magician, and “Facilitator of Fascination.” As a consultant, trainer, and speaker he works with individuals and companies that want to develop and foster positive environments at home, work, and in the community. He can be reached for comment at jonas@positivitymagic.com.
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JONAS CAIN, FF, PP
AuthorJonas Cain is a Facilitator of Fascination, Purveyor of Positivity, and founder of Positivity Magic, LLC. His passion is helping teams and individuals experience the next level of enjoyment and excellence in all areas of life. Archives
December 2018
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